I am officially one of the most pathetic horrible evil stupid blur freakin idiots i've ever known.
I was told that I did something wrong, being really blur this afternoon, I didn't know what. Then I found out. And I realised how low i've been as a friend.
F*** it all lah. Damn my stupid big mouth and pathetic attitude. To think I was treating her well, then i went to do something like that. Freak! Damn damn damn damn. Worse part is I didn't tell her about it. Damn it.
I hate commitments!! I hate secondary school! Gosh, you do not know how many things I hate in this world right now, including myself! F*** it.
Yes, i would type a lot more to curse myself for what i did. I did something low and sleazy, and i f***ing did not even realise it. Some person I am.
Well, i know what to expect tomorrow, so i'm only half-way mentally prepared for it. Maybe i should leave my hair wet and sleep tonight, then i'll surely get a flu and have to do to the doctor's.
"Betrayal, a word that hurts
Trust- that's what is worth
Once lost, hard to retrieve
My story of being driven apart"
-Written by me, dedicated to *someone*.
Another bad day follows. Ok, it was more of a sad day then a bad day. I won't explain, otherwise it'd be violating personal confidentiality. Feh.
VQ and Brenda kept on making sure I was all right between science, lit and english. When I talked to them, they said it seemed as if I was going to cry. To tell you the truth - Yep, I could feel I was going to cry, except... well... I didn't know what I would cry for.
Ms Lum keeps on mentioning that Secondary 2 is the year that most girls get affected, either emotionally, physically and so on. That sucks. Right now to me, almost anything to do with school sucks. It's kind of like my previous poem "A fake smile to present; Tears flowing from the heart"
One thing I realised - I was definitely not born to become a counsellor. I can talk to people, and give a little advice, but answer back to questions shot at me is a bit hard, and watching people get angry or break down in front of me is quite hard too. I hate my emotional sensitiveness. It sucks that that's my nature. I do my best, i probably don't make sense anyway. What's a girl to do?
I'm on the verge of writing another song. It's going to be more casual than my last one "All Alone" (this was a very serious song) I'll put a preview as my end poem for this entry.
"It's ok to cry your heart out
Unfortunately, the suffering's real
I know just how you feel
There's no way to get rid of
The thorns in the way
Just stand up and say
-Written by Me :P
Hello and goodbye!
Just kidding. Well today was much better. Started off with silence, then michelle came and ruined it... KIDDING!! xD *runs away*
I was pretty upset yesterday, but a few chit chats on msn cheered me up. Talked to Shaun from my AKLTG basic and advanced camp, so that cheered up the shitty day, and to my cousin Tazia as well. You guys rock!
I want to go out soon. Haiz. But can't, i have like... four tests next week.
"Fight for your justice! Show your courage.
Right! Grasp truth in these hands.
Fight for your justice! I want you as you fight through,
with your head held up high."