Tuesday, March 08, 2005 9:12 PM
Ignore my sudden swearing outburst in my last entry.
Confirmation last sunday (6/3) was on Renounciation. It has to do with admitting your sins and cleansing yourself of them. So i had to admit to a number things, mostly to do with attitude and emotions. Emma made me pray with her after that to renounciate all my sins. Obviously it won't happen immediately, i have to make it happen. After that i consulted her about my swearing problem. She said is just to cut down on it and to get people around me to help me out by cutting it out as well.
I did relatively well for my first term. Science, maths and geog - A1 and chinese should be A2 or if i'm unlucky that mrs pua adds the paper 1 in, then probably lower. English - B3, which is my target anyway. I don't know about the rest. Yay! lol. so im ranked 5th for english, and apparently 11th for science, but i think there's a mistake on the paper (after 1, it says 3, no 2) so i should be 10th. Haiz.
Super busy during school holidays - Media club camp, Sec 2 camp, tuition and homework. Help.
Ok, i'm extending this entry cause i juz read my twinnie's blog and i got thinking.
I miss a whole load of people. I feel like going to school and giving nicolle a hug like as if i was a little kid who just came home to my mum after decades or something. I don't know. I miss my twin bro, i miss sue, i miss cui, pam, stace, arnold. ok now i sound like a little kid. I went to school and I don't know but I felt so lonely. Even though brenda and vanessa are around me.
I must be really blessed. In terms of academic results, I'm doing.... brilliant. Social - Not bad, i guess. Pressure is dropping me like a huge atomic bomb. Unfortunately for me, I set high expectations and standards for myself. When i get a great grade, I feel really proud, when i don't, obviously im disappointed, and i feel stressed. A whole load of people expect me to do well in this reality. Crud.
Media club - the pressure. I have only half my time slots filled up compared to other committee members and i feel like i haven't been faithful to the club. and the pressure to get the final product ready. I have a meeting tomorrow to confirm layout. Apparently, we actually have to get it done tmr. Gillian will probably be on our tail tmr, coz i don't think we're up to anything yet at all.
My christian life is another thing. Being faithful to God. I want to. I keep on skipping my quiet time cause im sleepy or i forget. And all these things that are not good things by God's eyes and heart - It seems so hard to get rid of it. Swearing, rap music, temper. I can only go slow. I don't even know whether i'm going at all.
Another thing I can't stand - In AKTLG, they taught me that 'trying your best' isn't good enough. You shouldn't 'try'. You 'try', and you should go and do 50 push-ups immediately. You should '
do your best' There is a difference, and I see it. Try doesn't guarantee that you will do it, you have to do your best. But everyone, even teachers, keep on going 'try your best'.. Gosh.
Forget it, i'm on emotional spree.
