He answered me on the same night and the next morning =D
So I was still a little troubled by the question as I got ready to go sleep that night. I set my quiet time materials on my bed and started asking Him, "How do I answer that question?"
Then I felt God nudge me to open my quiet time book, like He had something to show me there. So I did. This is what it said -
July 11: " 'I will never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord... through whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.' -Galatians 6:14
Without except, every one of the overcomes I know personally who have come back to their feet after terrible defeat have lived in victory only through a radical walk with Jesus Christ in truth. For folks like me, there's not a lot of gray. I learned the hard way what can happen when you wander too close to a hole. You can fall in."
And I was wowed. Because that totally seemed to answer my question, and clear up some thoughts in my head. Like God does not force you away from such holes, sometimes you just walk to close to it. Sometimes you manage to walk past the hole, sometimes you fall in. I guess personally for me, while I am totally for stepping out of my comfort zone, there are some zones I just don't want to be in, and I know that God, my family and my friends wouldn't want me to be in either.
Then came sunday morning, where a lady from the RBC Ministries spoke at service. I loved her message, she illustrated the point of view of Mary, when she went to anoint Jesus' feet with the expensive perfume and how she felt being criticised by the disciples. Her message really struck me -
"As children and followers of Jesus Christ, just as Jesus was misunderstood wherever He went, so will we be in following in the steps of our Lord."
"Remember who you are, and who you are called to be,"
"A life poured out for God will get looked down upon by man, but God sees the heart and He will show blessing and favour for your love and obedience."
Notice none of it the statements above say anything about sticking to a strict set of rules. But they do mention about a certain level of love and intimacy with God that is beyond the understanding of man sometimes. All these statements hit home, and really answered my question of "Where do I stand?" and "Where do I want to stand?"
I reckon some people may read my posts and think that I am becoming too religious or something.
I'm not. You speak to me, and I'm just the same old person and friend.
I just love God.
And that's why I stand where I am.
And honestly, I don't believe that I'm missing out on much. If anything, I'm experiencing more. =)
Just had brunch with Diane and shared with her about my question and how it was cleared up, and she gave me a bit more of her take and what she heard from friends. Thanks for brunch Dee, was fun =D
Oh, and I attempted to carry on with my choreography yesterday, but I think my muscles kind of died after the wonderful 30km run with my mum and the ladies, so after a while all my steps were half a beat behind and felt really heavy. I did manage to add a few more steps, but I need to get the timing right and perfect the individual steps.
And I seriously need a mirror. I video-ed myself, and I could see so many mistakes in the steps and that my sharpness and strength was way off. I need to book studio time; probably in Melbourne. I was thinking of doing my own fortnightly trainings. At least the booking prices in Melbourne for dance studios are waaaaaay cheaper than here -.-''
Oh wells, I might be dropping by Vanessa's place later. I can't wait to see her! =D
Oh and I kinda revived my fan fiction mania again, uh oh =X