-=[Dreamz::Of::Life]=-

The search for wisdom.

2012-01-04T13:37:00.002+11:00

This was my devotional today:

Moral Benefits of Wisdom

¹ My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,
² turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding—
³ indeed, if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
⁴ and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
⁵ then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.
⁶ For the LORD gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
⁷ He holds success in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
⁸ for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.

⁹ Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.

- Proverbs 2:1-9

I reckon especially at this point in my life, a search for wisdom is key. When we're young, we're so reckless, wild, curious, experimental and if we're not the ones who influence, we're easily influenced. I had a pretty good headstart when I was younger; I stayed away from the things that weren't going to do me any good.

But as I've matured and grown over the years, I realize that wisdom is not only differentiating what is 'right' and 'wrong', but it's also for understanding the finer lines of emotions and situations. My heart has been pressed down, rolled over, shaken and shaken again as God has been revealing things to me that still need to be cleared out or things that I've had a wrong perspective on all this time.

Wisdom is pure gold. When you come out of a situation and you know you did what you had to do - And I'm not talking about going with instinct or intuition, I mean actually thinking through and concluding that what needs to be done is the right way (though not necessarily the easiest way) - it's a level of peace, not satisfaction. If you only get satisfaction, be wary of selfishness and pride. Nobody is 'right' in this world; only God is.

My Godpa Peter gave me a particular devotional for my Christmas present this year, and said to me it's time to go deeper with God. All the surface things are going well, so now time to dig into the ground.

Challenge Accepted.

A new year, a great start :)

2012-01-02T16:15:00.005+11:00

"¹ See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ² Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears,^[a] we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. ³ All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure."
- 1 John 1:3

I haven't abandoned this blog! Just a lot of things happening so haven't been updating. For one I've graduated! Bachelor of Commerce booyahh!

I am privileged to know such beautiful people :)

My family is the best <3

The past few months have been just a mad frenzy. I feel like I do more things and get less sleep during holidays than I do during the normal semester. 2011 was the year of becoming, and God was really working on the word 'becoming'. Come last quarter of 2011 and God was still clearing things out of the closet for me. I am very thankful for that. It has not been easy, and it has hurt a lot, but I feel a lot stronger from it. Like I have a better perspective of certain things.

Because God will never let you just sit in your current state when you could be all that He has made you to be. The BEST you.

I'm super excited for this new year! It's a huge transition year for many people I know, myself included.

For one, starting afresh in God's leadership role for me as an urbanlife leader. After having a chat with one of my senior leaders, I realize that I had been running around worrying about the 'human' details of things. So this break is time for me to step back, let God back into the centre of it all and lead as He pleases.

Secondly, my 1st year in The University of Melbourne Juris Doctor programme. I am so scared yet excited at the same time. People say that I'll do well in law, and I am confident that I will too. I'm aware of how tough it'll be, and I'm dreading the amount of readings I'll have to do. But yay! I finally made it to law! Praise God :) It'll be an interesting 3 years.

My dance. Not only with university ministry, but with other dream projects God has been giving to me. I have my own project that is way overdue; I had hoped to finish it by end of 2011 but I ran out of time. I'm still going to finish it; As God reminded me the day I panicked about not being to complete it, the whole point is not to put it up for show, there's a heartbeat message behind it that I want to share. It will be up soon, I promise. And more to come after :) Also, a friend of mine asked me to support her with her God dream; I am super excited about that! I cannot wait to see the work God does in her life and how it is going to touch others :D

Last night Pammie and I organised a primary school gathering. Sad to say because we don't have everyone's facebooks or phone numbers, we only invited a small group. 13 altogether. Still pretty good! Haha! We ate, played kinect games and talked heaps about stuff we did in primary school, what we have been up to, and what is next. It was so nice to see them, especially the few who I haven't seen in the past few years. Everyone looks the same, everything still feels the same. :)) The one thing that became super clear to us having met last night was that we are all turning 21 this year. Scary. What a birthday. We're 9 years down since graduating from primary school.

Just. Wow. How far each of us have come.

And of course, come 2013 will be our 10th year reunion. Pammie and I plan to make it bigger and hopefully more people will be able to turn up!

One month of rest, reflection, prayer and preparation for my year ahead. Bring it on God! :D

Rainmaker, God dreamer ♥

2011-10-16T16:52:00.002+11:00

[I have this really long post about my amazing 1st half of my midsem break that I wanna post up but I have yet to finish typing it. Oops]

Ps Sergio spoke at church today and man was he on fire! It was a message that many may not get, but it really struck a chord with me. He spoke about how God is looking for people with the hearts to be a rainmaker for him - Someone who stirs it up, burns the fire of God and stimulates growth in and out of the church.

Recently, I've been doing a lot of God dreaming. I've acted on the dream, and I can really see it happening. It's exciting and scary at the same time. There's been heaps of obstacles in the way, and yet in the midst of those troubles, I can still see the bigger picture. God keeps giving me downloads. I love it.

And me activating and acting on my dream has led others to activate/act on theirs. I'm amazed and freaked-out-in-a-good-way by the supernatural-ness of it all. How God's timing is perfect in all this.

Then one of my dreaming buddies told me yesterday how hers started with mine; with me asking her to partner our dreams together. And wow. Just wow, the result has been nothing short of so darn exciting cool.

I think to myself maybe that's my rainmaker duty - A dreamer who kickstarts other dreamers. I like that idea. So God, if that'd be your will, let me do my duty well.

So watch this space. Hopefully I can get what I want up by the end of this year. :)

I love the rawness of this piece. The real emotions that are carried in each step.

"He's Jesus. He's alive and He's livin' in me"

2011-10-10T00:38:00.002+11:00

At church today we had special guest Cindy Cruse Ratcliff from Lakewood Church in Dallas, Texas. She brought such an amazing worship anointing into our house and it was such a different worship atmosphere. Like same but different. I'm not sure how to describe it.

"He's Jesus. He's alive and He's livin' in me"

Those lyrics struck me. How true they are. Jesus died for us, and rose again 3 days later. God sacrificed His son, that we may be alive. And I'm not talking physically. I mean spiritually alive; living in love, peace and joy. I literally almost teared when I first heard those lyrics.

Anyone who thinks that I am the perfect child who grew up sheltered, was taught all the good values, and must be "perfect", super naive, fortunate, and happy-go-lucky - It is so untrue. I am so flawed. But, I have been saved by the grace of God. And I live my days in a joy that is so real that I cannot do anything but praise my God that I am alive <3

The best weekend yet at planetUNI camp 2011!

2011-09-05T08:31:00.004+10:00

Seriously, my expectations were sooo crazy high for this camp, and my excitement was sooo explosive I could've easily pinballed a room.

And yet God still blew them out of the roof, like millions times more than what I had walked into camp with.

Leading up to camp, God has been doing a work in me - and I have been tested into it.

Camp was the finale. I am free. I am changed. This is for real.

[Credit for all the amazing photo montages goes to the talented media team of planetUNI: planetUNI tumblr]

Every single message that Ps Kenneth shared with us was so relevant, and I'm pretty sure not just to what has been going on in my life but in a lot of other people's lives.

All those expectations and breakthroughs I wrote down on a piece of paper at Urbanlife felt like they were all answered, and even more. As Ps Matt would say, it was like a complete heart surgery done. Amen.

And that's why I'm picking up my shield of faith. The steel wall has been shattered; I have nothing to fear or be ashamed of anymore. My God project is going to go into motion and I will glorify my God through it.

A little bonus. We had a hilarious Colours Wars where few urbanlifes were grouped together to compete in games throughout camp. And GREEN TEAM WON! :D

No kidding, we were so sure we weren't going to win that my urbanlife started cheering for the ORANGE team (ie non-existent group, there was no orange team)

And that GREEN was called out, followed by the comment that we had won by a landslide. First we stared at each other in shock, then we screamed, then we just bolted for the front hugging each other and screaming. The prize was a treasure chest filled with chocolates that were wrapped in gold and silver wrapping.

In our excitement we just flung a huge amount of chocolates to the rest of the campers. Apologies for anyone who got hurt ^^"

Funnily enough, I went in excited for myself, but almost a bit more excited for my urbanlife and the newbies - those who had either never been for camp before, or had only been to City Camp.

And definitely, God answered that. I call them the "younger" ones because they came to planetUNI after me - I loved seeing the younger ones feel the presence of God so strong and just be touched by an encounter with Him. I loved my urbanlife peeps stepping out to want to grab their breakthroughs and see their expectations fulfilled. As a leader this year, I got to serve on the praying side of the prayer tunnel first. As I prayed for people, I felt words of wisdom, anointings, refreshings, joy and hope just running through me into people. I got so excited and bent my knees and clapped so hard and shouted so loud that my back, hands and throat hurt after. HAHA. Oh wells. God you are so amazing!

Even better, God turned the tables on me. Hit by the Holy Spirit FOUR times in one night. Starting with Ps Kenneth's altar call, where I laid it all down. Then I got slained, and God revealed His majesty to me. Then the prayer tunnel, God pumped up the power, and the tangibility of his presence was so great I could barely walk. He just kept giving me more. And finally when I saw a friend of mine, and hugged her after she had walked through the prayer tunnel. She prayed for me, and everything she said - Let's just say the only way it could be that spot-on was that God had just served up more than my expectations. Just. Wow.

I want to take the courage to use my gift beyond the limits that I thought I could. I can't wait to hear the stories/testimonies/encounters/revelations from many others. I feel like I am to feed this into my way of worship, and share them through dance. Starting with my own, of course :)

And if you went to camp not expecting much, dear brother or sister, you just got served by God! :D

You ain't never find a King like mine.

Understanding and breathing through life in God's grace.

2011-08-27T23:47:00.002+10:00

This week has been a strange one for me. It felt like I was being tossed around in an unstable whirlwind of emotions and thoughts, experiencing feelings that scared me and anger that made me hate so much.

And yet at the same time I felt like I needed to lean more on God. That I needed to do what I need to do in His will. That all things work out in His time, and my part is to fight in prayer even when I'm past my natural breaking point.

God's timing is amazing because it's all these things that I've felt, seen, heard and experienced that I can pour it out into this message of a dance I've started to work on. We'll see where God takes it I guess <3

An inspiration video that got me thinking of what I just wrote:
"Hello! This is my choreography to Nneka's "Heartbeat." The subject matter is something that has been on my heart for awhile now, something that God continues to remind me of and I feel pushed to confront it in many ways, dance being one. The main point of this video is to put something out there. Something that we might not think about daily that we probably should. Something that we probably brush aside or forget about easily that we shouldn't. I firmly believe that if you are someone who is given so much that you have a responsibility to give, whether it be your time, your money, your care, your help, or your love. That depends on what God puts on your heart. I also believe in the power of unity and in our generation to come together to love those who suffer. Each of us have different paths, but we must pursue them for the right motives and for the benefit of not only ourselves. A selfish life doesn't have the impact it's meant to. A huge thank you to Keone Madrid, Jillian Meyers, Dana Wilson, and Shaun Evaristo for helping me make this happen. Also thank you to Daniel Lee Spur from Who Cares!? crew in Hannover, Germany for giving me this song. And of course, all glory to my Lord, thank you for dance and for your love." - Mariel Martin

Breakthrough.

2011-08-14T17:51:00.003+10:00

This may be a selfish point-of-view, but it felt as if the first two services at church last Sunday were directed to me. And God worked in the first service, and then allowed me to feel the result of Him working in me during the second. I sang so loud, smiled so wide, and felt such a great joy today. It was incredible.

And I feel like I've hit some sort of breakthrough.

Combined with the amazing revelations at Beautiful Woman, I'm just wowed at what God is doing inside of me this semester. There are these things in my life that have escalated to a point of chaotic frustration, and I've been venting it by myself. But on Sunday, Ps Neil spoke about the power and authority we have when we agree in God's will. I admitted to one of the prayer leaders that 1st service, and she prayed and agreed with me. I felt the breakthrough.

In the 2nd service, I declared it done in heaven. God said, "It's done." It may take a while to actually happen in the real world, but God has sealed it with His holy covering. It is done.

And with that, God prepared me to be ready to share my heart through my talent. The idea and dream that I had from a while back that I've been shelving for a while.

I shan't be ashamed to admit this - The idea arose through trials; the dream, however, came when I felt His love and hope.

On monday, while waiting to meet a friend, I listened to the track over and over again. On tuesday, I finally got myself to a studio and begin materializing what has been on my heart for so long. The funny thing was that on monday, as I kept listening to the track, I saw an expansion of the original idea that I had; way bigger than what I had dreamed. As I choreographed with the help of my wonderful friend, big sister-in-Christ, and dancer Ness, I felt even more excited.

Just today I felt God showed me something more. A concept; a scene of a video. I have never thought that far before. It's as if, the more I do what God has given me to do, the more He shows me of what is next to come... if that makes sense.

I want to tell a story. I want to share the joy, happiness, pain, and sadness that I feel, the same emotions that everyone else feels. I want to inspire and lift hearts. I want to convey what many others can't get out.

I like what my dance friend Brodie said in rehearsal. That with dance, there has to be a reason for the steps. You don't just do the steps, you dance with a purpose, carrying either a message, a story, or an emotion with it and convey it. Otherwise it's just steps.

I think that's why I love Shaun Evaristo's dance philosophy (for the lack of a better word) - Movement is a lifestyle. Because movement is sometimes the best way to share our lives and touch the lives of others.

Like Choreo Cookies' Ordinary People. It combines the story of many in one, and they bring in this reality to it.

Hopefully, in a few weeks, the first end product of this God dream will be done. I can't wait.

"And David danced before the LORD with all his might..."
- 2 Samuel 6:14

The next step of this journey called life. God be my guide.

2011-07-06T20:56:00.000+10:00

So today I have found an actual alternate option to my future plans. And when I say 'actual', I mean that I may consider it, and it could potentially be where I end up.

This is why a Jesus date is really needed. To seek God. But not to seek Him for what to do next, but just to seek God. Nothing else. Matthew 6:33. Seek God first, and everything will be revealed in time. Seek God with the first intention of actually wanting something from Him... don't be surprised if it seems like He's not giving you an answer. God doesn't do things that way.

I'm really enjoying my time at home. Yesterday I went out with my Grandpa Harry to Chinatown again. We had lunch at the hawker centre at People's Park, sharing some oyster omelet and pig organ soup (love this!). I think a real treat for is just being there to acknowledge and once in a while, respond to whatever my Grandparents say. They just love the company of the grandchildren, and I'm more than happy to be there :) I told Grandpa I wanted to stop by Far East Plaza to do some shopping, so I said he could go home first. But he insisted on following me, and even ended up tagging with me to 77th street! Sooooo funny. He teased the salesgirls about giving us a discount, although he got a shock when he realized the top was under $30 x))

Today was spent at home playing video games and cleaning up my application for postgraduate law. Every time I read and re-read my statement, I feel even more nervous. I am actually planning the next stage of my life, what exactly I'm going to be doing for the next few years of my life. It's.... kind of scary yet exciting.

I'm currently reading "Dreaming with God" by Bill Johnson, and my goodness, from the first chapter already I got so much revelation out of it. Like WOW. I'm slowly making my way through, pausing after reading each section to kind of soak it in (I admit masterchef australia spoilers are interrupting a little =P). But really, WOW.

Love life <3

The truth about SWAG.

2011-07-06T12:43:00.001+10:00

On Monday night I went for my first "The Vibe Concept" dance class with Brian Puspos.

OMG SO MUCH SWAG. I loved it.

And I didn't too bad, considering I haven't moved in one month. I pretty much kept fumbling the footwork in the third-quarter of the routine, but during my last round I think I did pretty ok. I reckon sometimes it really does take pushing your body, and trusting your body to react as it should, as well as knowing your musicality and your steps. The musicality to the track was so deep, something I'm not used to. I'm glad I got to give it a go, and learn from it.

Brian Puspos Truth of Swag (Not an exact quote, but something along those lines): "You wanna know how to do swag? Look confused. Ever see them african american dudes walking holding their crotches looking confused? That's the truth, you know it"

HA. I cracked up.

Next class tomorrow night. Can't wait :D

Everything to me, more than a story

2011-06-19T15:40:00.002+10:00

I think sometimes as a Christian, you need the constant reminder of how merciful our God is. He is a Father, a God of grace and love, who is always there even when we at times turn away from him.

God acts when you let Him. That's how much He loves us; He's never going to force us into anything.

If you haven't seen this special dance version of Lifehouse's Everything skit, you need to watch this. I honour the lady who brought this to the Choreographer's Carnival in LA, it takes true bravery and Godly conviction to be able to bring the Word of God into such a secular arena.

(It is in a club, and as my leaders have taught me, no one should put themselves in the danger zone where sin and temptations run high. These people are not using "preach the gospel" as an excuse to be in the club; they brought the message there to the carnival to touch the lives of dancers in the industry, and the event happened to be in the club.)

Home is where the heart truly is.

2011-06-14T11:40:00.003+10:00

Greetings from the very humid island! :D

It's just so nice to be home. Weather of course is quite unbearable at times, but I just love it that I get to rest here and really not have to worry about any deadlines or work or anything like that.

List of things to do:

1) Read Bill Johnson's "Dreaming With God"
2) Read the book of Nehemiah. I'm not sure why, but I felt the Holy Spirit tell me this morning to just sit and read the whole book in one shot, and soak it all in. Excited!
3) Lion King on Broadway! [Watched already and it was BRILLIANT. Sooo good!]
4) Dance workshops with Brian Puspos
5) Vietnam holiday with family
6) Finish Valkyria Chronicles 2
7) Finish Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep
8) Start Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days
9) Choreography
10) Catch up with friends :)
11) Catch up on some dramas (korean and japanese)
12) Finish application for postgrad
13) Do some reading up about topics commerce and law-related + listen to podcast lectures Dad recommended
14) Most importantly, my Jesus date! Shall go on a date with God. Now is the best time for reflection of myself and everything that has happened this past half year, and everything to come for the next few years.

Learning to let go and let God. That I cannot judge, let alone from a position that is more or less of prejudice. I do what He has commanded, and I leave my Father to work His will.

He has overcome all. Exams included.

2011-06-08T23:52:00.003+10:00

So my first exam didn't go as well as I had hoped. The smartest thing I did was to call my mum first and spill out my lousy feelings to her. And then by the end of the night, I felt a lot better. It's all in God's hands. I just gotta keep working on my other exams.

And then it came as a revelation how different this was to my past exam periods. Studies is one of my strong points, and it's also one of my weaknesses if it doesn't go well. The enemy knows that, and I get attacked every exam period. Yet this exam period I've overcome that lousy feeling in one day. I put on my worship song and I've been praying heaps and putting my trust in God.

I gotta keep going strong. Because God is for me and nothing can stand against me. =)

"25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:25-34

X: Honoured to serve and be part of a God vision

2011-06-06T18:32:00.005+10:00

cr: planetUNI
Over the course of preparing for this big night, I've really learned and understood the true meaning of leadership. It means you're ready to serve, commit, pour out, and work more than those under you. That you're willing to care, pray for, watch over, teach and disciple. And that more than anything, your heart is teachable and you are always ready to learn and receive more - from those under you and those who lead you.

Not that it was easy in any way. Although interestingly this event, things ran way smoother than ever. It came down to one week before the event, and I broke down under the stress of it all.

But God knows, and He hears the cries of the hearts of His children. He heard mine. He comforted me, directly and through my leaders and friends, and pushed me up even higher.

Being part of a stage ministry also puts one in danger of soaking up the attention of it all, because one is the face of the ministry. I thank God that He has convicted me and swept away all pride. This was and is all Him, not me. This was all God's idea, God's choreography, God's planning. =)

I thank God for the opportunity and the honour to serve. One decision for Christ, one person's life changed would have been more than enough. 100 people at the altar call that night just brought tears of joy to my eyes. God is good. =)

And through this event, I feel that I have become a better dancer. God-empowered.

I have amazing leaders, an amazing dance team, amazing support from the other ministry areas, and amazing fellowship with every single person. Every single person involved in this event has poured out so much time, effort, energy but have done it wholeheartedly with a smile on their face. These people are major inspirations to me.

But most of all, an amazing Heavenly Father who watches over me.

This is why I dance, that lives may be touched and changed. That people will see the passion of Christ in me, and feel the presence of God in their lives. That people will feel the love and come to know the message of the cross. I dance because God has given me the talent to use it in His calling for me. <3

Because I just want everyone to be able to smile, even if just for that moment

2011-05-31T23:11:00.003+10:00

I've come to learn that at the end of the day, circumstances may never change, but you can change how you view, how you react to it, how you deal with it.

And that's why when I see a friend, a loved one stressed out, hurting, and unable to voice it, I want to help as much as I can.

Even if I can't do anything for the situation. Even if it's only being able to smile so that they can smile a little. Even if it's dancing a performance with a message or even just with passion that it touches their hearts. Even if it's just letting them know I'm there though I'm helpless to do anything.

I just be who I am, do what I do, trust in God.

That's why I do what I do. God has blessed me with overflowing grace and mercy.

That's why I can smile and help others smile. Even if for that short moment in time.

Not superhuman, just empowered by God and passionate about my Jesus.

2011-05-22T22:11:00.002+10:00

Had the most intensive rehearsal yesterday, and yet I feel all right this morning. A bit of aches but nothing too serious. Must be getting more hardcore =P

"Sometimes in exhaustion or exasperation, we don’t pay close attention to God. We assume He will always work the same way. But He doesn’t. Sometimes He tells us to act; sometimes He tells us to speak; sometimes He tells us to wait. That is why we must always be careful to listen before we take action."

I love that. That's what my morning devotional courtesy of Our Daily Bread was about.

God has really been pushing me beyond boundaries that I had set for myself before. And like one of my dancers said, "It's like walking up a hill, but God is supporting you and pushing you along"

And like another one of my dancers recited from a new worship song at church, 'Every mountain will move out the way because of the name of Jesus'

I'm really blessed to have beautiful people in my life, be it my family, friends from back home, my urbanlife, and my dance team.

One of my urbies, the ever-amazing Tania Trestya shared during offering this week about how when we share, God blesses us that we may have even more to share. Take it like a piece of paper, it starts with 4 sides. You cut off an edge, the paper now has 5 sides + the 3 sides on that triangular bit you cut off. You now have 8 sides to share, of which 3 of those will be shared by the one you passed it onto.

What a great revelation! =D

I want to share myself, that the Lord may grow me to share even more. I've tasted the tip of it, from giving into Kingdom building for this upcoming outreach. But there is still so much more, I know it.

I thank God that in this life, I have freedom, love, joy, faith, hope and most of all, purpose <3

Re-boot the revelations!

2011-05-15T22:25:00.003+10:00

So I'm going to get this blog going again. There's just so many things I want to share and talk and spill out from my heart.

Times have been just been so crazy and exciting and moving so fast!

And God keeps reminding me that I am in His hands and in His heart. That when I start to feel the pressure of everything, He whispers to me that He is my guide and my foundation and He won't let me fall.

Urbanlife, serving at church, studying, schooling, choreographing, and preparing for event - My schedule is so packed but I'm loving it!

I know I've been missing in action lately, but I'm going to start rebooting the revelations and the sharings. =))

I want to dance or, if God will let me, choreograph something so meaningful and amazing someday. Not that He doesn't already choreograph amazing material through me, but I know there's still more that He has yet to show me. =)

Is it already the start of April?

2011-03-29T23:15:00.005+11:00

It's been a while, has it not?

I realize that as time passes, and I do the things I do, and live life walking with Jesus, guided by the Holy Spirit, and chasing after God - I get a real kick, a real joy out of the things I do.

Be it dance, studying, tutoring others, having catch-ups, leading an urbanlife, caring for others, calling new people... I feel the more I do it with a real sincerity and passion, the better I get at it and I get a real sense of joy. It's an awesome feeling, and it's kind of indescribable. Said for those days when I'm cranky from times-of-months and lack of sleep, I feel very happy.

Third year has been nothing short of chaotic - The content and workload are much heavier relative to second year. Yet by the grace of God I've been doing waaaay better than coping. All my weekly assignments have come back with good marks, all my midsems have gone well so far - while I'm basically studying or doing some form of uni work every day, I don't actually feel like I'm being stretched or swarmped. I feel good.

Life has really put before me a lot of doors of opportunities to take and I find myself really wanting to sit back and ask God, "Which one?"

I taught my first ministry dance workshop a few weeks back =) To the dance team at COC, they were so warm and welcoming and friendly. And even though I gave them something totally out of their comfort zone, they pushed themselves and we had heaps of fun. I love that. I love getting to share this passion and love of dance and at the same time sharing my passion and love for God. <3

Reppin for Christ. Love it!

Of Goodbyes and New Paths to Take

2011-02-07T01:52:00.003+11:00

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
- Jeremiah 29:11

I think I'm nervous. The things that have come into my life and the incidents that I've been through in these first two months of the new year has made me both scared and excited. It's emotionally draining, but yet it gives me a sense of a challenge. I feel like I'm being pushed to grow even more in different ways. I admit I don't like some of things that I have had to or have to experience; it's making me a bit emo and mopey.

But God gives and takes away. While some things hurt, He has opened doors, He has pointed me down exciting paths, He has built up my expectation of what this year will bring.

Therefore I pray that the Lord be my strength and comfort, that I will fly. Reaching all the goals I have ahead of me, and soaring above those things that may hurt. <3

From one dancer to others

2011-02-02T12:43:00.003+11:00

Just something to share, I read this a couple of months ago and was so inspired but the truthfulness and sincerity of this message. This is from this dancer to other dancers out there, written by an amazing dancer/choreographer, Mariel Martin of Movement Lifestyle =)
_________________________________________________
[Note: This is not written by me, all these words and thoughts belong to Mariel Martin]

He has a dream.

Warning: this is going to be long :)

Sometimes I feel like my heart is so full that it’s going to consume my entire abdomen. My chest swells and I feel like a giant hand is inside there in a fist, and it’s slowly opening itself until it’s fully extended. Like the fingers are so straight that the sinews going from it’s palms to web to fingernails are stretched to the point of almost snapping. And every time I breathe it’s like I’m overwhelmed with silent joy. I don’t know what to call it, inspiration, passion, blood pressure, but I do know that movement in there is there pushing me toward something beautiful.

Recently I took a trip to Washington D.C. in the midst of listening to the new John Legend & The Roots album called Wake Up! Walking around the capitol of this country, around these giant monuments, these enormous tributes to things that have happened, you can’t help but reflect. Combining that with John Legend’s almost angelic voice drifting old activist lyrics through my mind, I felt the overwhelming expansion in my chest, that familiar feeling, and I felt it pushing me. There’s so much in my head that has swum upward from my heart lately. So many thoughts and ideas that I feel like are stuck in my brain right now treading water. I need to get them out and I’ll try my best to tie them all together because to me they all swim together in harmony.

In D.C. we walked around the new WWII monument, looking at the names of countries and cities that fought, certain ones struck me, Colorado, California, the Philippines, all for personal reasons. We kept walking, up to the stairs of Lincoln monument, where I came across the picture I took. Martin Luther King Jr.’s famous words “I have a dream,” were engraved on one of the steps. By chance it was still in the shade and some water had stayed inside its crevices, leaving those historic words I have a dreamstaring at me from the ground. I felt like I was the first person to ever see those words carved into the steps, I was so excited to discover them there. Somehow they sort of planted themselves on my shoulders and followed me from that moment, even until now as I sit and write this. We continued, We took pictures of Lincoln, the Washington monument across the water, and the Korean War memorial. It was really heavy by the time we got to the Vietnam War memorial, something about seeing all the names of the people who lost their lives made them more real, then thinking about their families, and thinking about the countless Vietnamese people and their families and the losses they experienced. With each step two thoughts kept nagging me. This country is so young, yet so many bad things have happened, so many people have sacrificed there lives, have fought to be treated right, and thinking about the pain and suffering made tears well up in my eyes. Yet at the same time, I heard in my head that even though yes, bad has happened, that historically not that long ago our country was still segregated. Look how much has changed with each generation. I was teaching that weekend at a workshop run by a Filipino-American and a Spanish-Chinese-American, the instructors were African-Americans, and then me, a Caucasian-Filipino-American. As sentimental as it is, I couldn’t help but tell MLK Jr. in my thoughts that his dream was real. That it was happening, it wasn’t finished, but it is real. Now my question to us, being young people now: to our generation, what will we do.

Now this brings me to 2 main things I want to say. One is dance. If you are reading this blog, there’s a 97% chance that you’re a dancer. You know how it feels to run through your sneakers until there a hole in them, you love it when you wake up the morning after a tough rehearsal and you feel like you got run over by a truck, your heart beats to be on a stage. I cannot describe how much dance means to us dancers. I don’t believe any of us can accurately make another understand, only to know that someone who isn’t passionate about dance is probably passionate about something else and can relate on that level. Even if you see dance as a hobby in your life, or maybe it competes with other things for your time, you know that love and how deep it can go. For me dancing is a blessing, it is a gift that God gave us in the world and put it on some of our hearts and in our bodies to desire to do. That’s my belief and I am so grateful and thankful for it whether I keep dancing for another 50 years or for another week. Dance is a gorgeous thing not just to watch, but what you can do with it.

In September, a friend and great leader in the dance community, Melissa Adao, threw her 2nd Annual Outreach Through Dance’s Dance for a Wish show. Her charity show works with the San Diego chapter of the Make a Wish Foundation to help grant wishes for children in need. Not only does this show help give light to a child’s life and family, but she has the wish child participate in the show. This year Emely, a sweet 4-year-old ball of energy who has gone through more medical treatment than most adults, came to rehearsals, tech, took pictures with the cast, and came out for the bow at the end of both shows. I know for me, other dancers at the show, and maybe even the audience, we felt humbled, motivated, and had our eyes opened to the potential of our gifts. Outreach Through Dance brought together all those people who love dance to do something good for someone else. That was more rewarding than any trophy, youtube views, compliments, money; you name it. And I know we all gotta work, we all gotta survive, and I don’t want to make you feel guilty for not giving away all your money and time to charity. I believe in the resources that God provides for us and that we are to use them wisely. But what I do want to ask is how are you using what you’ve been given? Do you use it only for yourself? Or do you include others?

We are a new generation in dance. So much has changed (that is an entirely different blog haha), but out of change can come good. Movement Lifestyle is one of my resources, you reading this is a chance to say something worthwhile. As a person, I have so much to work on, but let’s do this together. How can we do good with what we have? I want to encourage our community toward togetherness. So often I travel somewhere and I hear about rivalries between studios, between crews, and even animosity between styles, but where does that get us? Nowhere. It’s sad to hear that there are students who want to take class, but are prevented from learning because a leader (and that is very disappointing) is telling them not to go because it supports the rival studio, crew, etc. You need to let down that pride, let down those barriers, and let people grow together. When you do, when people can get over differences, we can work together to make our particular kind of dance more legitimate, but also to do something amazing in the world. If we all did a little bit, what could we do? It’s nice to think about it, to be moved, to be inspired, to pray about something, to write about it, but it’s another to do it.

In light of all of this, the holidays are coming up. I might be being a Westerner to think that people identify with the “holiday spirit,” and I don’t want to assume that anyone believes in anything or celebrates anything. I am nostalgic about Christmas, but I do think a good amount of people relegate the winter months with a sense of giving and peace toward our fellow man. This is my challenge for all of us. If you felt anything reading this blog, if the words touched you or made you feel like getting up out of your chair and doing something good, then act on it. Give to somebody this year that you normally wouldn’t. Be creative, use the gifts that you have to benefit someone else. Here’s an idea for people in SD: Cye Bongolos, a young dancer here is throwing a charity show, Thank You for the Music, on November 12 to raise money for VH1’s Save the Music Foundation to keep music programs in school. All the info is on facebook, go and you’ll be helping another person who may be making the music your children end up dancing to. Here’s a link to the fb page: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=128396210514867&ref=ts If you’re a person of faith: Keone and I are going to participate in Operation Christmas Child put on by Samaritan’s Purse where people pack shoeboxes with gifts and they are delivered to children in poverty all over the world. Last year they delivered 8 million boxes to children in over 100 countries and had countless opportunities to share the gospel. Go tohttp://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/ for more info. You could even let down your pride or fear and reach a hand out to someone, someone at your rival studio, someone who you has hurt you and you haven’t forgiven, someone you forgot to tell how much you appreciate what they do. There are so many ways, runners run races to raise money for all sorts of causes, I know our dance community can spread that love that we feel from dance, that power of unity that it has, and use it to make this world even more beautiful.

So what will you do? Whether you take some change out of your wallet and put it in a little plastic bin for breast cancer, or you hold your tongue and don’t assume things about people you don’t know and instead bother to find out, or you start a huge campaign to help people far away who don’t know what it’s like to drink a cold glass of clean water, let’s do it. We can all contribute. If you’re reading this now, you are given enough in your life to have eyes to read this, a hand to click a mouse or hold a phone, and an education that enables you to read. Let’s do something guys. That beautiful dream that MLK Jr. had, I think that dream was from God. And I believe that God gave us each other so that we can come together to do amazing things.

Heart,

Mari

Credit:Movement Lifestyle Tumblr

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her -Proverbs 31:28

2011-01-30T01:29:00.002+11:00

This post may turn out a little emo, forgive me for that. It's been a tough week.

And all the praise and glory to God. I will sing hallejuah. For the King has carried the cross He has risen from the grave ♥

Dear Grandma Betty, you loved me and taught me love. I love you so much and can't wait to see you with our Father in heaven. Rest well Grandma ♥

It's just that horrible heartache that you wanna let out, but it hurts to do so. Daddy God, give me strength.

Saying goodbye is so hard, but I guess keeping the memory of beautiful Grandma Betty will be easy. God is my comfort and strength. Thank you friends for your prayers. ♥

When I was 8, Grandma Betty used to buy me a bag of cotton candy every few weeks. Now I'm 19, and she bought me a small container of cotton candy and sent it over recently. I still have some cotton candy left in the container. I miss her.

Getting hit with a family tragedy so suddenly certainly is a first. I don't know what I would have done had I been put in the position.

Between my family and I, we've shed more tears than we've probably had in our lives over this past week.

But God gives and takes away. While He has taken away my beautiful maternal Grandmother, He has given us her love before she left, and given us stronger family ties after she left.

Having my extended family, my uncles, aunts, and all of us 9 cousins together for 5 days straight has been quite a wonderful experience. Much needed. Something that should've been done earlier.

This week I also had to learn the hard way that things are really much more complicated than they may seem. It sucks to know, and it sucks that I'm old enough to understand sometimes.

I need to be strong. I need to lean on God's grace and mercy and love.

And I know that as much as it hurts really bad in my heart, I cannot let myself be dragged down by it. God has not given me a spirit of fear or timidity, but a spirit of power and love and self-discipline.

"...Never will I leave you; Nor will I forsake you..." -Hebrews 13:5

Resolutions totally fail, but it doesn't hurt to make some plans... x))

2011-01-06T15:05:00.003+11:00

After learning that I won't be able to do my basic theory test or driving lessons because of the limited amount of time I have in Singapore before I head back to melbourne, I spent a whole day doing nothing at home.

Unless you count youtub-ing SClub7 and A*Teens music videos as doing "something" =P

And then I realized that while yes I do need my rest days, it does not feel that great to do absolutely nothing at home.

And after going for a hip hop technique/basics class today, I've decided that I really have to work.

So here's my list of plans for this start of 2011 (a week late, but oh wells):
1) Dance classes 2/3 times a week
2) Self-training and practice twice a week
3) Get to "October" on Valkyria Chronicles 2
4) Lots and lots of reading (hopefully the video gaming doesn't take away time that could be well spent)
5) Impact somebody's life in some way
6) Smile everywhere I go
7) Start a habit of reading my bible
8) Catch up with friends at least one more time before I go back
9) Learn some basics of another language - maybe korean or malay.
10) Practise my cooking skills - new house, new kitchen, why not?
11) Shopping - much needed.

I actually considered choreographing, but I think I'm going to hold that off for now. I want to focus on training myself, physically and spiritually.

What Comes Next

2011-01-04T00:24:00.003+11:00

I just watched the first 8 episodes of One Tree Hill Season 8 today. One Tree Hill was starting to lose its spark for me around Season 5, and when they took Lucas and Peyton off Season 7 - well, it just wasn't One Tree Hill anymore. But mummy was laughing her head off at some of the more recent episodes (end Season 7, start Season 8) and I decided to have a go at the latest Season. And well I'm hooked. I only have a problem with the model girl Alex. She's just... annoying.

But anyways, there was this major theme that revolved around the episodes where one of the characters Julian was filming a documentary, where he filmed the people in his life who were all going through stuff and asked them, "What Comes Next?"

I reckon that's a really good question to ask for the New Year.

There were so many amazing things that happened in my life this year. There were so many amazing things that I got to be a part of. There were so many amazing people I met. There were so many amazing people I either became closer with or reconnected after so long. Really, I feel so blessed.

I also had trials, days of crying, days of being emo, pains and difficulties that I had to go through in my life. But it was all definitely not for nothing. I learned. I learned how to improve myself; I learned what I didn't manage to learn the last time something happened; I learned how to handle situations the way God wants me to handle them.

And I live each day in pure joy. Save for the one or two days a month where physiological/biological factors take their toll, I live every day and I thank God that i am alive.

I'm amazed to see how much people around me have grown.

I'm amazed to see what beautiful people my best friends who I've known since primary school are becoming.

I'm amazed to hear the stories my secondary school friends tell me about their lives and what God has done for them.

I'm amazed to see how blessed I am to have Godparents who love me just as their own and care for me as their own.

I'm saddened to see that so many lovely people are moving onto the next stage of their lives, and God has planned for them to be taken away from Melbourne for that next stage to begin. Yet I'm excited to see what they can bring to the table wherever they go.

I'm saddened that some friends are no longer within my reach. Never mind the actual physical distance, but time zones become an issue.

I'm scared yet excited that this is my graduating year. That I have to start considering my postgraduate.

I'm scared and anxious that I need to start thinking about other things in life - Internship, part-time jobs, leadership, driving, relationships.

I'm eager to train myself and equip myself to serve the Father.

Maybe you share some of the above with me.

So what comes next?

Curious as I may be, I just know that God's hand is in it. And that's all I need to know.

Poke poke*

2010-12-23T04:34:00.002+11:00

I like how Daddy God points the stuff in me and in my life that need ironing out. He totally doesn't hesitate; He just makes me aware of them according to His timing. And it has gotten me thinking about how I can be the better me. The me He has called me to be. It made me think of how I need to really sit and read my bible properly; not just a verse a day through devotional.

I also like how Daddy God lets me feel His amazing presence when He wants to show me pieces of my future, of where my calling and my passion lies. My heart just feels like it's swelling up and I get overwhelmed with a sense of excitement and yearning. It's amazing =)

After Christmas, I have the time in the world to train up in body, mind and spirit...

... heck, you know what? Why not start now? =D

Leave it alone.

2010-12-15T13:49:00.003+11:00

Because at the end of the day, faith in God is all one needs to survive ♥

We Need You - Choreography by Keone Madrid, Mariel Martin and Vinh Nguyen

Revelations, contemplations, gratefulness and waiting in patience.

2010-12-13T04:12:00.002+11:00

Yesterday was my Grandpa's 80th birthday. That is a big number.

It made me think of the two ends of the spectrum, plus some bits in the middle. It made me think of family love and togetherness; of those related by blood or marriage come together and have fun. I enjoyed the beauty of just being a family and the privilege of having each other, even if bonds are not the tightest in the world - At least we are still bonded.

It made me think of openness and instances of getting to know each other (again). I just met second cousins of mine that I have never met before and to be able to talk with them and get to know a bit more about them felt like a real honour. Many people aren't even close to their immediate family; I get the honour of knowing my second cousins.

It also made me think of cracks and possibly fragmented emotions. Of things that cannot be repaired not without the mercy and grace of God. But God works when we accept Him; He's not going to force anything or do anything if we are not ready to receive - defeats the purpose in the first place.

Outside of this spectrum that I was thinking, I realize that whatever I go through in life, someone else has gone through it before. And someone else will go through it eventually. That's the terrible thing about human nature - that we're selfish.

And I realize that waiting in patience and in the peace of God may really be the key to things.

So thank You Daddy God for showing me things and talking to me whenever I pour out to you <3

p.s. Liam Neeson portraying Hannibal Smith on a HDTV screen is AWESOME.

For everything you learn, there is always more to learn later.

2010-12-04T02:26:00.002+11:00

Fearless.

I'm slowly learning to wrap my mind and my spirit around that word; currently reading "Fearless" by Max Lucado - a chapter every 2 days or so - and already the first chapter blew me away because it was so true what was written in it.

God's timing is perfect =))

Sometimes I hate how when you grow older you grow more aware of things, you learn to understand meanings in people's words and the emotions from the tone of their voice. And it doesn't leave you the best feeling.

But hey, the joy of the Lord is my strength. That's what pulls me out of the lure of negative feelings in the air. Like today, I was almost thinking things I shouldn't in a sudden wave of anger; then I stopped myself and asked Holy Spirit to clear my head. He calmed me down and after a while, the thoughts just dropped. Easy.

Just some thoughts for the night <3

Inspiration

2010-12-02T01:54:00.002+11:00

Thank you to my Godpa Peter for the birthday present. Pretty cool having your own domain name.

So yeah, from now on, this blog will be www.valajace.com or www.dancing4jesus.net =)

I want to share something, but I'll type it out tomorrow. So for now, just want to share a video of someone who inspires me a lot (one of many of course). Her name's Mariel Martin and she's a choreographer from San Diego. What I love and admire so much about her is that when she dances, she dances with purpose and that purpose is for the glory and love of God. Regardless of whether it's a christian song or not, whether it's her own choreo or not, when she dances, she just channels through this passion and gratefulness that you can't take your eyes off her and you're just so inspired by her.

She posted a blog entry once titled, "He has a dream" (He being God). Interestingly, if you open it as a tab, the tab will read "He has a dream. - we keep it moving" (the second part being the tagline of her management company Movement Lifestyle)

I like the sound of that. He has a dream, we keep it moving. Because it's true. God has a dream, we are the ones that keep it moving.

Just when I'm feeling dry, I think about all the good things God has done

2010-10-15T00:04:00.005+11:00

Forgive me for going MIA. A lot of things have happened in these past few months. Time flies. Like really, at some crazy lightning speed. You go through the motions of life, and you forget to just set aside that few minutes a day just to thank God.

Not complain, not ramble, not get overly excited about a good grade that you got, but just saying to Him, "Thank You".

I'm guilty of that. And today I just want to say thank You to my Daddy God. For being with me through everything. For always reminding me of His promises. For always affirming my identity in Christ. For always encouraging me. For always loving me.

Here's a run-through of all the things that happened these past few months

planetUNI City Camp 2010

Probably one of the best things God has ever choreographed through me. This opening item was so much fun to do and was a bit more challenging as well. All about the funk, the fun, the street.

planetUNI dance crew. I love these guys. They are the most hardworking, dedicated people I know with the greatest sense of servanthood and humility.

Check out the colours!

The lyrical. God pushed me past what I thought were my limits. Never before did I know that I could express emotions in that form, that I could dance and worship in such a way, that my body has been made by God to do these things I never thought I could. And yes, I have officially debuted in a skirt.

UrbanLife challenge. Heaps of fun and running and screaming and doing crazy random things. For example, we did the chicken dance outside a KFC in public in front of a bunch of goth-dressed people and street punks (then we ran for our lives. Lol.). Also, we had to rummage the trash for particular items, collect them and keep them to bring back to base point.

The best thing we had to do was the homeless challenge. Buy a meal or a cup of coffee for a homeless person. We bought a cup of coffee and found this older lady named Lee lying on a mat in an alley corner. It broke my heart, to see that some people have to go through life living such circumstances. I hate the fear that stepping out to do something would be weird; I want to rebuke that. I will rebuke that.

One of the urbanlifes found a middle-aged lady sleeping in a carpark. They looked at each other and said, "Nahh, we can't have this". Then they took out all the money they had and pooled enough to pay for that woman's 3-night stay at a hostel. The love of God, yes and amen.

Youth Alive 2010. Seriously, some of the youth are crazyyyy wild. Hillsongs were on that night and led a time of praise and worship. Reggie Dabbs spoke a short but powerful message, and we saw over 1000 youths give their lives to Christ. Praise God. =)

Liwen came to Melbourne! That week was so much fun! So basically we hung out and saw each other almost 24/7 for the first half of the week, then I had to abandon her to do my assignment for the 2nd half of the week. Baking a cake made out of potatoes, eating yummy breakfast at Hardware Societe, having dinner with Wai jean (miss you heaps!), tim burton exhibition, meeting with Kym for lunch and of course, the late night chats. So good to see how far God has taken her and I know there's only MORE in store.

This is Nada. One of my dancers and probably one of the most epic and entertaining peeps to go kbox with. Had so much fun at kbox with him, the dancers, jeremy and bryan lee.

POREOTICS IN MELBOURNE! Oh yeahhhh. They totally killed the stage. And they performed twice! =D

Dumbo's workshop. So apparently Dumbo from Poreotics got stranded in Melbourne a few days longer due to issues with his flight ticket. What better way to spend the few days than to hold an exclusive last minute workshop? The workshop was a popping one, and it was tough! I kept blanking out on the 2nd half of the choreography since popping and isolations don't come naturally me. Has totally inspired me to go and learn popping properly. Haha. The only downside was that half of the people attending the workshop were high-schooling fan girls who weren't dancers or at least weren't there to seriously dance... they just wanted to stare at dumbo -.-''

The highlight of my semester up to date: Billionaires' road trip. Five of us - Dean, Mx, Weiying, Sarah and yours truly - flew to Sydney, rented a car, and drove back to Melbourne over three days. We stopped at a different town every night, and sunday we were on the road from 8am to 12am the next day (partly because we made a few scenic pit stops and an unforeseen circumstance occurred xD). Why Billionaire? Well, Travis McCoy's Billionaire was our road trip theme song, we just couldn't stop singing it.

To all of God's children who I had the honour to serve with

2010-08-05T10:30:00.005+10:00

On 31st July 2010, I had the honour of serving God in one of the most unbelievable events by planetUNI. When God said He was gonna go for BIG and IMPOSSIBLE, He meant it.

That night, we touched so many lives. We had altar call that was packed full; we had so many lives saved and so many seeds sown. We had so much fun and joy. We had so much favour from above and things ran so smoothly. We glorified our God, doing everything according to His will.

All those long nights of rehearsals, memorising lines and actions and cues, exhaustion, lack of sleep, lack of eating, time and effort spent travelling, shopping, choreographing, learning, teaching, making costumes, making props, stress in getting a cast together, stress in finishing the dance, stress in getting the steps right, stress in booking venues, stress in finding the right costumes...

All came down to that one night. It's Time. And it was all worth it.

[p.s. I am going to dedicate the next blog post solely to my dancers, writing to each of them individually =)]

Tonight marked the end of Beautiful Woman 2010. Oh, and how God has totally moved. All the messages He spoke were full of power and impact, and it just touched every single one of us ladies there. I know everything that was spoken by the preachers during the conference were soooo relevant to my life.

And then God gave me a new vision. He told me to stop restricting myself to the "conservative asian" style; for I was created to be courageous and full of joy in the Lord, so much so that I can't contain it inside.

And then He showed me part of who He has called me to be. To empower generations to win future generations. Vague now when I say it, but it is so clear to me.

And then He gave me the vision for dance, for the work that I am to do for Him. That me and my dance team and leaders - We are not just dancers or performers anymore, we are messengers. We are carriers of His word and we will express His word to reach people who have had their ears tuned away from hearing His word. They say that the eyes are windows to one's heart; and God will use us to get access "visually" to touch their hearts, and break the shell over their ears to open them to hearing Him again.

No more doubting myself. No more comparing myself to others. No more thinking I'm not good enough.

If there's no way, there's only God's will.

Oh gosh, I am soooo excited. Of the more to come. Amen =)

God delivers

2010-07-06T10:57:00.002+10:00

Take this as a follow-up of my exam testimony: I got back my results yesterday.

Creative Non Fiction was not bad, considering how subjective the marking was and how weak one of my pieces seemed to be after reviewing the 2nd or 3rd draft. Scored a H2B for that. Yay!

Then on to the real exciting bits - The three exams that I had to cram for and nearly ripped my hair out. One day of revision to prep for two papers on consecutive days. A few days to jam a load of new content into my head and familiarize myself with a marketing case study and revise.

Intermediate Microeconomics - H1 (84%)
Introductory Econometrics - H1 (89%)
Consumer Behavior - H2A (78%)

Seriously, if this is not favour of God, I don't know what is. Thank You to my Father in heaven who has seen through the tough period, only so that the victory is even sweeter =D

I like

2010-06-27T23:37:00.004+10:00

So I saw this blog post where one simply writes down all the things he or she likes - ranging from normal likes to quirky likes - as many as you want. So here we go.

I like watching my brothers play their console games.
I like the fact that I can beat my older brother at at least one video game - Pokemon Puzzle League
I like going nuts and just dancing during praise
I like baggy pants. My wish list includes a pair of baggy, vintage old faded bleached jeans with a drop crotch.
I like boots with laces
I like eating sambal chilli and prawn chilli by the spoonfuls
I like wriggling my nose like a guinea pig
I like playing with my hair and styling it in weird ah-lian harajuku styles.... within the privacy of my bedroom of course.
I like my Daddy God, the love and grace He has shown me, and the talent and ministry He has honored me with
I like that tingling feeling I get when watching the romance scenes in chick flicks, especially if the two characters have the chemistry that works.
I like Disney
I like cleaning (and shelling) squids and prawns
I like Sora's outfit in Kingdom Hearts 2; if I were an anime male character, I'd totally wear that.
I like the concept of masculine feminine to describe my fashion style
I like sitting in the cold with the heater turned on full-blast at my feet
I like going to the movies, particularly to watch trailers before movies and spoilers/previews at the end of movies
I like annoying Jon Tan and teasing Sarah. And I love them both too, of course
I like singing 90's songs and feel good popular mainstream music at kbox
I like watching my urbanlife leader sing at Kbox, especially when a R&B or rap song comes on
I like the wind blowing my hair, and the feel of walking against the wind
I like the magical moment when you step forward and at that moment the autumn leaves around you fly up in a swirling motion
I like Switchfoot and Jon Foreman
I like dance-walking; now if only I were brave enough to actually move more than my elbows, hands and arms
I like studying with noise around me, with my ears plugged and music cranking from my itunes
I like strolling around Orchard Road by myself for hours
I like BoA's hairstyles and fashion sense
I like that one time my primary school friends and I ended up playing a game of catch in Kinokuniya Bookstore, and we didn't get caught
I like the automated touch-screen order machines at the 24-hour McDonald's on Bourke Street; cheap thrills of ordering fast-food meals
I like the hairdresser on King and Bourke, the korean hairdressers there are really awesome and friendly
I like that I have a hairdresser in Melbourne who can remember me by face and remember what style of cut I did before
I like the guy who makes the coffee at Animal Orchestra
I like the fact that on a day that is not crowded, I can walk into Animal Orchestra and even before I order, the guy will have a cup ready for my Soy Chai
I like the feeling of all your muscles loosening up when you're collapsed on the floor after a tough workout
I like standing on public transportation
I like vests and kicks
I like talking about all things nerdy with my nerd buddy Tricia Ong
I like painting my fingernails blue and my toenails a darker blue
I like scratching off scabs
I like Fairy Tail
I like the fried rice I made on the day of my brother's last paper - Sambal chilli, onions, carrots, garlic, prawn heads and a bit of the prawn brains scooped out (trust me, it's good!)
I like doing turn exercises across the room in Jazz class
I like the one time when I went for my first Krump class with Brodie and Aaron Chen. Funniest scenario ever - picture white blonde guy, small chinese boy, and small chinese girl trying to go ghetto
I like watching my dancers dance something God has choreographed through me (I admit, I was going to say my choreography, but then again, it really isn't mine =))

Freedom in the name of Jesus!

2010-06-16T22:21:00.002+10:00

I can finally blog again with a sound mind and with things to say!

Because seriously for a while, the only thing I could think about was study, exams, microeconomics, econometrics, consumer behavior, ministry, dance, It's Time, contacting people and just saying non-stop, "Ok God, I don't know how to get through this, but I know You are going to help me. Calm down, Val, calm down."

And looking back now, I think I didn't give my exam entirely up to Him. I feel that I chose to study on my own and just let God watch over me from above. Bad move. A week before my first paper and I snapped hard. I was freaking out about how I was going to finish the content and still have time to revise for two papers simultaneously since I had two consecutive days of exams. I cried, I pondered, I had to spend a lot of time in prayer.

Give you an idea. My microeconomics exam was on thursday - I had only finished studying the content on Monday morning and did MCQ practices in the afternoon. Past year papers were only done on wednesday and I only managed to do one out of the two provided. Econometrics was on friday - I had only finished studying it on the tuesday (so no microeconomics done at all) and did the practice exam on wednesday afternoon. Consumer behavior was the following tuesday - the wednesday and I had only finished 2 out of 5 lectures, and I hadn't read the case study.

And then wednesday night came, and Ps Matt spoke at combined urbanlife. I walked in and everyone I talked to said I looked tired and worn out and stressed and stretched. And yes, I'll admit that I did walk into urbanlife feeling stretched beyond my limits. My first paper was the next day.

Ps Matt started speaking about the Israelites, just as God delivered them from Egypt, they were suddenly faced with not one, but two roadblocks. The wide ocean, separating them from the safe land, in front of them, and the Egyptian army, ready to cut all their throats and take them back as prisoners trailing behind them (Bad sentence structure, but you get my point). He spoke of how people always come to this spot, just like the Israelites where they are stuck between "a rock and a hard place". The worst part is, you can't see past these obstacles, they block your "light at the end of the tunnel". You stand there, you feel pressured, frustrated, and you do what most people do - you try to fight your way through even one.

But God doesn't want us to do that. He intends to put us in a hard place to make us suffer, but to test us. What happened to the Israelites? God delivered them. He did not bash through the armies, nor did he swim through the ocean and ship every single of them over. From His high place in heaven, He sent a raging fire down on the army, and with His mighty hand, He parted the red sea.

That is the revelation I got. I had been fighting this on my own, trying to rely on my own strength and defenses to get through this difficult period. I said, "God, help me. God, help me.", but I did it with my eyes on my studying, not on my God. When we are stuck between two challenges, two evils, two enemies, who cares about them? They have no strength, they have no stand. Look up to God.

That night I went home and I prayed a prayer before I started my final revision. I remembered a week back at prayer meet, Lydia had said that when she was doing her finals, she prayed that the Holy Spirit together study with her. Not watching from the side, but actually sitting with her and studying. I prayed that prayer. I plugged my years with worship music, and kept "Everything To Me" by Avalon on repeat.

I think people may wonder why and how I do it. Why and how I commit so much to my ministry, to my service to God; How I can give up so much of my time that I put pressure on my studies.

It's because I want to do it. I know that when I commit my time and my effort and my energy and my spirit to glorifying the name of Christ, my Daddy God will reward me with favour. It came down to the last point, where I must have been doing something right, because the enemy came and tried to break me.

Too bad for him I recovered fast. I went into my exams, feeling fairly confident and leaving it to God. Boy, if this exam period wasn't full of God's favour, I don't know what it was.

Microeconomics turned out to be a lot easier than the past year papers. I could do all the questions without much of a problem. There was just one section C question where I blanked out halfway through the question, so I skipped it and finished up the rest of my paper. 10 minutes to finish time and I went back to the bit I skipped. I sat there and took a deep breath and started speaking in tongues softly in the exam hall, asking God to remind me of what I had learned. Then it suddenly came to me, I quickly scribbled down workings and a final answer. Within the last few minutes, I checked the calculations and the answer seemed correct. Hallejuah praise God! I literally mumbled that into the table when the invigilator called the time.

Econometrics was amazing. The practice exam given to us had been like a parallel of the actual paper, and I could do all the questions in the exam. Big bonus was that I had really studied one particular lecture, paying attention to what my lecturer said, and it came out for like half a question in the exam. Praise God! I finished the paper early and even had time to check.

Consumer Behavior went very well too. For the fact I was worried whether I could remember all the facts and concepts I had memorized, the first half of the paper went smoothly and all my thoughts flowed well. The case study was a little tricky and I did run out of time in writing recommendations for a marketing case, but I did identify a lot of challenges and wrote a few recommendations which I think formed a pretty substantial answer. Praise God!

God's favour is real. God is sooooo definitely real, and He knows. He knows what each one of us is going through. Sometimes it may seem like He doesn't do anything. In actual fact, He really waits for the right moment to show us His wonders, that we may learn from it and marvel at it. I know my Daddy God loves me.

So what was with all that commitment to ministry that threw my studying off and made me cut it pretty close and get stressed?

It was all worth it. Exam time comes around and people begin to set God aside, and feel that He'll understand that you need to pull out of ministry and service to concentrate.

Give Him all, and He gives you back so much more.

Because when I finally stopped myself and asked the Holy Spirit to do it with me, not just help from the side, it made all the difference.

I'm not saying don't study. You have to put in your share of effort, but are you going to worship God or your exams? Do you fear your exams more, or do you fear the awesome God who is able of everything?

A little exam testimony for all.

Freedom is here yo! The post-exam feeling kicked in only about 9.30pm last night, but now it is in full swing! Woke up a bit later this morning and cooked lunch for Kor who only started exams today. Then spent the afternoon watching Glee episodes with Jon Tan and Sarah, before going for prayer meet.

Prayer is seriously amazing man. Lydia was pushing on the believe of a greater God-planned, God-filled destiny. I feel like I am called not just to the dance ministry, but to a ministry to raise up the next generation (not just by age, mind you). We'll see where He goes with this.

Stacey is in Melbourne! We've already planned stuff for the weekend which is going to be awesome! Can't wait to see her =D

So a list of post exam activities:
1) Dance. Dance. Dance. - Going to get myself into a studio at least once a week and just choreograph what God has put in me.
2) Ministry - planetUNI event is going to be big yo! Look out for it!
3) Spend time with the two bezzies - Even though one still has exam, poor thing. Lol!
4) Hang out with Stacey! Can't wait. Can't wait. Can't wait.
5) Finish reading: Mao's Last Dancer, The Last Song, Eternity Review book from church and some others that I can't think of now.
6) Masterchef, Top Gear and Dance Academy! (Just like how I got Brodie hooked to kpop, he somehow unintentionally got me hooked to this new Australian tv series)
7) Try out my culinary skills - Experiment now that I am in charge of taking care of my brother's meals till the 24th.
8) Work on strengthening my body, stretching my flexibility, and train my bboying skills (which are currently non-existent, save for basic stuff that I can do on-and-off)
9) Clean up my room. It is an utter mess.
10) Do my laundry, because Val, you need to get laundry done. And get the stuff off your bed and on the hangers either in your closet or on the racks asap!
11) Go down to the Christian bookshop, haven't been there in ages!
12) Pray
13) Spend time with family
14) Enjoy and spend time with God. Best things ever.

Here's to half my uni degree done, and all the best for those who still have exams! =D

And it's drawing near that time of the semester again...

2010-05-20T21:36:00.002+10:00

Exams in a bit more than two weeks' time.

That was fast. This semester has just breezed by. Like rapid motion.

I'm loving every second of it though. Even the stresses, because at the end of the day, there's Daddy God there for me to talk to, to calm my nerves and to knock some sense into me.

And I realized that even though I've already grown so much and reached a certain stature, I still have a looooong way to go. Plus, I'm not only discovering, but also re-learning things every day. About me, about God, about my friends, about how I live day to day.

God has taken a couple of unexpected turns in my life, and I think He's really pushing me this year and challenging me to overcome even bigger obstacles in life. But then again, they say that the bigger the trial, the more power you actually have inside you to tackle it down. After all, God doesn't let you go through something unless you are able to handle it. He knows well. He definitely knows me well.

I will admit here and now that this past month or two have been pretty physically tiring, emotionally stressful, and spiritually exhausting. Every other week or so, I seem to face some roadblock. Yet, each time, either God helps me to destroy the roadblock, or He teaches me the right way to get around the roadblock, and to never let it near my path again. Like I said, I'm still learning.

I feel excited, and I'm not actually sure why. It's like I have this feeling that something (or maybe it's plural) big, explosive, major, crazy, off-the-shizzang is going to happen.

By the way, if you're ever thinking of trying something a bit strange but very interesting, take Creative Non Fiction, some of the pieces you read (be it from your reader or from your tute-mates) are quite..... fascinating. That is all I will say.

Also, SOCA classes have been giving me even greater breakthroughs and revelations week by week. I have this major urge in my spirit to get to a studio, flick on the Christian beats and just go in full on worship and praise. I might just do that, after all I have two weeks after exams x))

The other day I was thinking of things I never want to do:
- I never want to think that I am not worth it, that others do not have the best perception of me. Because I know I am loved, God loves me, my family loves me and my friends love me.
- I never want to let my dance go secular. My dance is my ministry, it is worship. I can train myself in secular context, but what drives my dance is not secular, it is of the love of God.
- I never want to take loved ones forgranted
- I never want to spend a day without taking to God at least once.
- I never want to think that I know better, that I should do this or that, that I should have that position. God knows best, God positions and God commands.
- I never want to go back to the introvert that I used to be; God has got me to break out of that, so I will just shout louder.

So yeah, probably won't blog till after exams. God bless my younger brother who just enlisted in army today =)

Life is a road and I wanna keep going

2010-04-26T18:05:00.002+10:00

So last night was probably one of the biggest trials I've had.

And at the same time it was also a night where I got to do a check of myself. And I realized how much I have changed, and how much I've learnt to just control and not jump faster than what God would want me to do.

I'm learning to work in a WWJD way. What Would Jesus Do.

Rifts and bumps with people you love are there to test your friendship. Are you going to just let it go, or are you going to prevail and rise above it?

So maybe some friendships are not meant to last, maybe they barely take off. I know the friendships I have are meant to last. I believe so. And I believe that God wants to birth something out of our friendship.

When the devil tried to taunt me of all the things he/she did wrong, I stopped and said, "Shut up". I was angry, yes. I was not sure whether to tell him/her; my dear leader said I should, but to calm myself down and pray for the right words. In the end, he/she came to me first and took full responsibility for what had happened. I sat and listened to what exactly happened on his/her side to get some understanding of his/her position. Then I told him/her in all honesty what was running through my mind, what I was feeling. At the end of the call, there was hugs-through-the-phone, tears, forgiveness and an even stronger friendship.

And I think that's what true God friendships are.

When you do something wrong, and you have the guts to not only apologize but to take full responsibility for it.

When you learn to forgive and still love them, despite how angry they made you.

When you can be totally honest with them, the emotions, the thoughts, the doubts, the fears, the worries, the truths.

When you want your friendship to not be affected by these trials, to not let the enemy have your friendship; he doesn't have the right to it in the first place. Because (a) you love the other person too much, and (b) you know God has plans for your friendship.

So yeah. Just letting you know that I love ya heaps yeh. I thank God for you. =)

When the enemy tries to drag and hold me down, I break out, stamp on him, throw him out into oblivion and yell, "I HAVE MY GOD!"

2010-04-20T21:47:00.003+10:00

So I definitely feel that something major is going to happen. That God is going to do something incredible.

Because recently in the past few weeks, some serious, strange, unexpected incidents have occurred in my life - and I can hear and feel the enemy trying to play on negative thoughts and feelings.

Too bad though, because these incidents just made me cry out for God even more.

Like Sarah said, this is no longer about normal, this is full-on spiritual warfare, and I'm sure gonna win this battle.

Luke 2:52 - And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, in favor with God and with men.

2010-04-10T14:03:00.003+10:00

I feel really bad for deserting my poor blog for the longest hiatus ever. Things have been really crazy and hectic, but I just had the most life-changing week ever this past week.

Planetshakers 20Ten conference was beyond words. Amazing, awesome, zomg-crazy-stuff... these don't even begin to describe what God did at the conference.

I feel refreshed. I feel like I've have been given so much great revelations. I feel like I've broken a lot of past bondages that tied me down. I feel like I've pushed past something into the even greater.

And I served for School of Creative Arts this year again. I made a bigger commitment with learning and performing more routines. And I loved it. Every minute of it. Even though I had to leave morning sessions early and miss out on the great words of God that the speakers were sharing, I felt like I gained something more in a different way.

So I thank God for the miracles and testimonies that have and are going to come out thanks to conference. I thank God for showing us (me definitely) what an amazing and loving God He is. I thank God for the visions and the relighting of passion in me.

No fear, no doubt, no looking back, no pulling in. During praise, on the first night that Bishop TD Jakes spoke, He told me, "I want you to just praise and stop looking down at your feet or the floor,"

Usually, with dance, if you keep looking at the floor, means you're uncertain of your steps, you don't want to face the audience; you're not confident. Despite knowing that, i asked Him, "Why?"

"Because I want you to not doubt the worship, passion and power in this talent that I have given you."

I'm so pumped for what more He's going to set me working on.

I will stay on the right side of the cross.

The time is now. The time is NOW.

I know who I am and I have nothing to hide. I ain't going to try to keep myself closed in even just a little bit anymore, because God knows me and wants me to walk in my fullest.

He has given me seeds. He wants me to sow seeds. He wants me to wait patiently on the seeds I've sown and tend to them wholeheartedly.

He wants me to breakthrough, to break free, to not slip back into the comfort zone behind the mask.

He wants me to commit to the work and ministry He has planned for me.

And by the way, can I just say that I have the most amazing UrbanLife ever? Love you guys! Big cheers to the guys who served throughout conference especially!

Oh, and I also must say, I find so much joy in meeting new people, making new friends, seeing their smiles and giving them hugs =)

Letting each day draw by peacefully, and God lets me be free of care and worry

2010-02-02T01:51:00.002+11:00

Wow. Quite a long time since I last blogged, no?

Jon Tan came over the weekend and stayed in Singapore for 5 days. I think the highlight of his trip here was the "touristy" trip to Night Safari with Daniel Zhang, Diane, Doreen and Doreen's friend Isabel.

Seriously, I haven't been to the Night Safari in a heck of a long time, but the experience that monday night was surprisingly quite good. The hostess for the Creatures of the Night show was really good and entertaining; and of course the night time tram tour was fantastic. Up close and personal (though not too close, mind you)

The other highlight of the trip was the random LD night we did. Yep, you read it write - LD = LaserDisc. My mummy got Maria to hook up the old laser disc player we have (because somehow dear mummy doesn't trust my capability to do a lot of things lately ^^''). So Jon Tan and I raided the LD collection downstairs like it was some major treasure trove and we watched a couple of old school stuff such as the Steven Spielberg dinosaur animated film called "We're Back", a couple of 2nd generation power rangers TV episodes, and old school Disney goes to ___ sing-a-longs (we watched the one to the beach, i.e. Disneyland Florida and the one to the circus)

Old school fun x))

Otherwise, my days have been well-spent either:

1) Reading "Beloved" by Toni Morrison (note to self: need to improve reading speed again)

2) Reading and waiting on manga and anime updates (Fairy Tail, Get Backers and Code:Breaker manga FTW. Inuyasha the Final Act anime sooooo exciting 0.0)

3) Reading random fan fiction or checking out fan art (my eyeballs are going to be like popping out of their sockets by the time my holiday ends)

4) Dancing and choreographing (Speaking of which, my new choreography is almost done; just need to sharpen and clean up some of the moves)

5) Well there isn't exactly a number 5 yet, but I do plan to play ps3/wii and try to finish as much of my two games as possible [Sonic and Legend of Zelda] (Not much difference from staring at my mac screen the whole day, but hey, at least I get some real hand-eye coordination going)

And no, I haven't been just lazying around. Before Jon Tan arrived, I was still doing my half-day shifts at mum's office, doing housekeeping and filing for her. ^^

So it has been a little quiet here with me and God, but I'm thinking that He is letting me really enjoy a simple day of no 'excitement'. I mean, when you think about it, we really take a normal day for granted - we deem it 'boring'. However, there are people in the world who have to fight for survival, or worry about something major like a terminal illness, a disorder, some screwed up relationships in the family, thrilling lovers or one-night stands etc., and many times a week (if not every day), they have to go through this terrible roller coaster of drama that leaves them feeling like crap.

And yet this is sometimes the kind of drama we seem to want every day. Maybe you don't say it that way, but then you don't really know what you want when you call life "boring". I know I didn't.

Of course I'm not saying that drama is completely bad and should be totally exempted from our lives. Events that leave us feeling crap are inevitable; God lets us go through such trials that we may come out stronger. But I do think that being bored with life and wishing it to be more exciting (with drama, of course) just isn't good for oneself. If anything, it leaves you feeling pretty down as well.

So in a way, I get a kick out of staying at home (and actually having a home to stay in) and just being able to breathe. I read somewhere before that there was a pastor who thought that He had to really commit all his free time to doing bible studying and devouring the Word and listening out for God and all.

Then God told him to go player soccer with his friends. Quite funny, but true. God just wants us to enjoy being alive - that would include living a normal day when nothing "exciting" may happen. (He'll throw in the exciting stuff when the times comes according to His plan)

I think on my part, the manga reading and anime watching have swarmped my time and I only leave the really longer conversations with God to my quiet time and devotionals - BAD.

So I guess I'll take this opportunity to say thanks to God for a normal, simple, relaxed day =D No drama.

The fact that my days are simple, I feel joy and give thanks to Him

2010-01-18T19:11:00.005+11:00

So I don't think i've been this obsessed over something since my SClub7 phase, but Fairy Tail is AWESOME. Hiro Mashima's a bit of a perv sometimes, but his action scenes, his characters and his story plots are waaaay too good. Heee heee heee.

That said, I read 166 chapters of the manga in 3 days. Now, I am waiting (rather impatiently, mind you) for the next chapter to come out week after week.

Been working for mummy for the past week, and going to work this week as well. Nothing special; just helping with sorting and filing and paper work. Something to do with my time anyways.

God really lifted something that was pulling down my spirit during summer urbs. I can just feel Him shaping me, chiselling off the bad stuff, testing me and letting me come out of things feeling like a winner. =)

I've started a little inspiration journal. I feel God really pouring out these ideas for themes, choreography, settings, scenarios etc. And I just want to write them down to not forget them. I've got this really awesome idea for a dance, based on a skit. Plus I've been choreographing to iContact by Group1Crew and I must say, I'm quite pleased with the choreography. Maybe a video soon, MAYBE.

I talked to God today and He mentioned how though I may not be the most skilled or talented in dance according to what the world says, I am talented in the Spirit and my talent is only growing with each challenge He puts me through.

I don't dance because I want to look cool and show off. I don't dance because I want to compete with people who are good, or copy those who are amazing. I don't dance because I want people to watch me and see some worth in me. I'm glad that He put me under leadership first, and trained me up from rock bottom, before putting me in the front. Pride is one of my biggest flaws, and I know God is getting me to be humble - not just in my dance, but my personality. I dance because this is my gift from God; this is my form of praise and worship; this is what I'm going to give back to Him.

So He kinda answered me this morning

2010-01-08T11:48:00.000+11:00

⁸ But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. ⁹ Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. ¹⁰ Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. ¹¹ In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile,^a]">[a] circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized,^b]">[b] slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.

¹² Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. ¹³ Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ¹⁴ Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. ¹⁵ And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

¹⁶ Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

- Colossians 3:8-17 <3

This is my prayer in the desert, when all that's within me feels dry

2010-01-08T02:09:00.002+11:00

I've been really biting my lip and holding my tongue. Words are a powerful weapon; and sadly, I am one who is capable of wielding words that can really sting.

But when I see such selfishness and lack of sensitivity or care, I just want to lash out. I want to punch people in the face and scream at them till they get it.

But then again, I don't have the right to, I know what are the implications of my actions so I shut up.

Maybe this is my storm for this holiday break, this and something else. I'm praying to God to take away all the anger I feel inside, and never let it back in.

Because with the anger, I can see the reflection of who I used to be before God picked me up and got me on my feet again.

And if the enemy thinks I want to dwell in that old self again, he better run for it.

I guess all I can do is pray, and do my best to withhold remarks and death glares.

Daddy God, forgive me. Please help me to forgive and love.

And He makes all things new

2010-01-02T16:26:00.003+11:00

So in the past week since I updated...

I met a guy named Bryan Lee who goes to a Clayton UrbanLife. He mentioned that he knew who I was because PJ had talked about me a fair bit before.

I went home and decided to be the kid sister brat, so I wrote on PJ's facebook wall:

"i met your UL member Bryan/Brian (not sure how to spell his name). He said you talk about me quite a bit. I'm touched. Hahahahahahaha. I know i'm awesome!!....

..... Kidding. whee. xD"

He hasn't replied yet. Mehhhhh.

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I met up with JingXi, Vanessa Quek, Brenda, Catherine, and Catherine's friend Adrienne. OMG seriously, in these past years since secondary school, I've only seen VQ. It was such a joy to see and chat with Brenda and Jingxi and Cat again! Especially Cat, having not seen her since secondary 2.

It was an afternoon of chatting about school, university and future plans, scandals, boyfriends and crushes, and the wonderful workings of VQ. She's so heartless and cruel, she even questions her own actions sometimes xD

VQ, you know I love you. Haha.

And we also discovered that Monday afternoon was a bad day to try and watch Alvin and the Chipmunks 2. Long queue, too many people, and the remaining seats were so darn close to the screen.

So we went to the food court (after having left one food court, mind you) and chatted more.

I thank God for being able to meet up and still be able to talk to these lovely girls. =D

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I had tonkatsu lunch with Christine a.k.a. Chicken and dear Wai Jean on tuesday. This was despite that Chicken had just returned from her family trip to Japan.

The three of us used to sit next to each other in Secondary 4. We had a lot of fun; used to laugh so hard that our stomachs hurt and our laughters would suddenly go mute.

And of course, Chicken used to say that laughing exercises your stomach muscles. For all you know, laughing continuously may give you abs.

Shared with her some of the awesome God testimonies that came from Melbourne. The best one was of PS Bill Johnson healing the man's legs. Seriously, God not only has the amazing power of healing and miracles, He's got the best sense of humour.

Chicken then brought us to this lone ice cream shop in one corner of Clarke Quay. The stall was literally enough for one (or maybe two) person(s) to stand in it, and only served 5 ice cream flavours. Basic flavours too. Chicken recommended mango and pistachio together on a cone (and surprisingly, the cone was only allowed 3 flavours max and was thus a whole $2 cheaper than the cup, which had to have 5 flavours in it)

The guy served my cone to me using some strange metal clamp. I reached out to grab the cone, only to be shocked when he suddenly lifted my ice cream up and retracted his arm, leaving me standing there with an empty cone.

And of course Chicken laughed. Wai Jean got a shock too.

He had doubled (or maybe tripled) my cone to play a trick on me. And the same trick worked again, another two times.

Turkish ice cream is interesting. It's not very creamy; more of a soft serve. The texture kind of reminds me of fruitella sweets, where you need to chew and pull the sweet (or in this case, the ice cream) apart, and you can see the stickiness of it as bits of the ice cream is stretched out.

If that makes sense. But it was yummy, trust me.

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The day of New Year's eve was the day I finally got to have lunch with dear Sharon.

Sadly, Daddy had sprung a very filling kway chap breakfast on the family. Hence, by the time I got to the french place at Serene Centre, plus considering that it was Grandma's recipe for that thursday night was Nyonya Popiah and Kueh Pai Ti, I could only order soup.

Chris joined in with us for the lunch, and we talked about all things. Sharon was busy switching back between SMSS and ACS International frequencies, or so she says. Haha.

Then something awesome happened. Her mum called just after we had sat down, and announced that Sarah's (Sharon's sister) appeal to SMSS had been approved and that she was going to don those polka dots for the new year!

Dear Sharon started crying. Aww, sisterly love =))

God totally answers prayers; thank You Lord for hearing Sharon and her family's. =))

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And of course, God has been hearing my prayers. There has been some spiritual struggle going on, some emotional days and a few tears, but God is really slowly coming through for me. I love You, Daddy God.

To A New Year.

Nothing more fulfilling and worthwhile

2009-12-27T19:20:00.005+11:00

Seriously, I felt like a mother watching her children perform for the first time. I am so proud of these guys. I kept smiling throughout the entire performance.

What's more, I'm really thankful to them for letting me into their lives and their group. I've made new friends, and they're all so sweet and warm and friendly. I do feel a part of the group, even if a little only. It's been an awesome two-way relationship - they've learned from me; I've been inspired by them.

And of course, the random Abracadabra warm-ups, plus the bonus mix of songs on the very last day that made everyone go crazy.

Seriously, no more Flo-Rida in church grounds. Honestly shouldn't have played it at all in the first place. My mistake. Daddy God laughed at me for that. =X

And this has really stirred up my passion for ministry dance. To want to empower a generation to dance for God.

Summer urbs tomorrow! Is going to be exciting.

So what? Just be you, and let them wonder why

2009-12-15T13:00:00.002+11:00

So fast forward this video to about 3:20 and watch on from there. See the guy with the headphones (DongHae, for those of you who actually follow Kpop)? I want to do that! Or more like I wish I could do that. Dancing on an empty (but lit up, so not dodgy) highway, with no one but yourself and nothing but your music. What a great feeling that would be!

So I had this awesome catch up with my dear friend Hui Ling from secondary school; I love catch-ups with her because we always have a God factor in every story or topic we share or discuss with each other. It's amazing to see how much she has really grown into and in her faith. We were just laughing non-stop over the dinner table and ended up hanging out for about 2.5 hours! Can't wait to meet up with her again! =D

So I've been helping Tessa with choreography and well, fixing up Lync's dance piece for CCIS this year. I've got to say, now that I'm 18, I can feel myself being worn out by the 14/15-year-olds whom she is leading. They drain my energy; I feel oldddd. Yesterday they were so hyper and giggly that I was super tired on the way to meet Hui Ling. LOL. To think I used to be that loud and hyper x)

Oh, and as if this isn't obvious already, God answers prayers really.

I owe Him a date though; We need to talk about the new year, and the new plans, and of course, the vision He gave me a while back =)

Knowing which are YOUR storms to master

2009-12-07T19:40:00.002+11:00

So this first week of holiday is turning out to be totally unexpected, not quite what I had in mind.

But then, I can see God in every turn and corner, in every rise and stumble of it all. I can pick up the lessons; I can breathe and in a way hear the words He speaks to my spirit and my heart.

While I realise that there are still many things I can get right about myself, I'm also shown that there are many areas where I have grown and improved in. Awesome stuff.

1 John 4 is an awesome chapter of the Word =)

Haven't really done much since I've got back to Singapore. I kind of like the whole slacking and resting thing, though my body is totally itching to dance again.

Well, if I can't dance, I can always learn and choreograph.

Yes I can hear you asking, "How? You can't learn or choreograph without practising and you have a leg injury,"

Trust me, you can. When there's a will, there's a way. x)

Sunday was Church and family day.

Monday was major slack day. I finished one of my new books, "Diary of A Teenage Girl: Maya No.3 - WHAT MATTERS MOST". Also finished the Oishinbo manga edition on "Rice".

For those who are curious, Oishinbo is a manga series that talks about japanese food, food and society, etiquette, japanese cooking, and culinary culture. It's super detailed yet it's super interesting and somewhat entertaining. Get to learn more about foooood!

Yesterday (tuesday), I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic at home, so I got myself out of the house and went walking around town. Bought two new movies - Young Victoria, starring Emily Blunt and Rupert Friend (DVD) and Bring It On: Fight To The Finish (CD, just cause it was cheap and I needed some cheesiness).

Oh, and as my first time going around Singapore on my own since I got back, I felt so foreign and awkward. I seriously have not been home for the longest of time. I managed to flag down the correct bus (since I always seem to mistake the bus numbers). But when I got on the bus, my ez-link card did not work. So I took out my wallet and said, "$1.20 please". Only then did I realize that, because my ears were plugged with music, I said that pretty loudly. Also, the driver sorta paused for a bit, before pressing a button to issue the ticket. I then found out that I had actually given $1.50. Darn the different coin sizes! =X

I felt pretty embarassed. I think the fact I was dressed pretty non-Singaporean-girl-ish didn't help. Though I liked my outfit, and I kinda pacted with my younger brother that we would go against the norms of fashion in Singapore. Heeee. Anyways, I was wearing brown berms with attached suspenders that I left hanging, a plain white fitted pullover hoodie top, and my own worn-out white and gold baby phat sneakers. So me x))

Anyways, got home later in the afternoon and watched the Bring It On movie. Cheesy, yes. Somehow the cheerleading routines weren't really as impressive as past years (1st movie still the best); though I think that was purely the fault of the filming and camera angles used - You just couldn't see the routine wholly to enjoy it.

Today went for my first Singapore physio appointment with mummy, followed by an awesome all-asean lunch. Then came back and spent the rest of the day watching my younger brother play "Uncharted 2"

Tomorrow, I'm going to sit in the dance rehearsal for Lync's Christmas pieces, lead by my dear cousin Tazia; followed by my grandma's awesome awesome awesome beefsteak dinner. Friday meeting Dee. Saturday meeting WenHao. Sunday Church, followed by OSchool recital. Woot woot!

I thank You, God. For just being You. My Daddy God.

God has his funny way with things. They just work somehow. x)

2009-12-01T23:41:00.002+11:00

So in the midst of this hiatus from dance that I am having to undergo due to my injury, it feels like God is stirring up not just my passion for dance, but even more so my passion to want to serve Him with dance.

So just yesterday, I was randomly youtubing dance ministry, and found a whole heap of dance ministry videos, youtube channels, websites and blogs. It just totally kick started something in me.

Rock Steady Ministries (San Diego, CA)

DMT (Korea)

Then today I watched Planet BBoy. This totally took the whole idea of dance battle to a whole new level. We see all the polished choreography executed in dance movies and in reality shows. But man, when you watch this, you get to see the real gritty stuff, original choreography from dancers who come from the street, who may or may not have a professional career in dancer, let alone a means of earning for a living. Extremely inspirational and off the dial.

The documentary also made me realize that Koreans are major good-looking. Out of all the bboy crews, I actually found only one guy who I thought was cute, and he was in the korean crew. =X

And it just made me a official fan of Gamblerz Crew from Korea. They won this year's Battle of the Year 2009.

Battle of the Year 2009 Highlights

The passion these guys exude is just.... wow. You can just felt it when they dance, and see it in their faces.

I'll get there. One day, I will get there for Him.

Oh, and praise the Lord, my physiotherapist says that I am recovering pretty quickly which is all good. =D

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough
With every breath I take I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love

Final night chat, we resumed designated corners.

2009-11-30T14:09:00.002+11:00

Jon Tan, Sarah and I officially had our last College Square Night Time Chat in my room. We started talking about 9 plus, after we had watch Glee, and talked for about an hour. Each of us taking our designated corners sitting on my bed and just talking.

Love those chats. Gonna miss them next year.

Things to Do:

- FIND THAT DARN DIGITAL CAMERA! BY FAITH, I DECLARE THAT IT WILL BE RETURNED TO ME AND MY BROTHER. GOD WILL HELP US TRACK IT DOWN.
- Pack apartment
- Move things to new apartment
- Change address details
- Pack luggage
- Clean apartment
- Throw out food
- Settle CS Admin stuff + apartment inspection

So when I asked Daddy God to teach me to love Him again...

2009-11-28T07:41:00.002+11:00

This was what He gave me in this morning's Daily Bread:

" ¹⁴For this reason I kneel before the Father, ¹⁵from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. ¹⁶I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
- Ephesians 3:14-19

The tagline at the end of the Daily Bread read, "To renew your love for Christ, review Christ’s love for you."

AMEN. <3

The day I stood speechless; and the most recent thoughts

2009-11-27T23:55:00.002+11:00

Some random thoughts of the day.

Faith does not mean to strive or struggle, but to just believe. That's what I need to do, keep believing, keep praying, keep asking God what I need to correct myself.

What you say or do, whether you control your emotions or just fling them out in people's faces, will affect others. We need to learn to watch what we do, and stop being so selfish. Stop trying to grab people's pity and irking or trying to inflict guilt on those who you faced a conflict with. That's just being darn selfish.

I'm not sure what to think or feel. Just that I feel a bit awkward, like a backyard or a lamp post. I almost feel like I know yet I don't know. I was hoping this was settled long time ago, but then again I did concede that it was something that may not be easy to settle.

This is where I go find my UL leader asap.

Oh Holy Spirit, I hate these thoughts that kind of irk me. Help me to believe, help me to feel the real joy that my God has given to me. Help me to put You first, and not the things and ways of man. Help me to make You my first love again, Lord. <3

______________________________________________________________________

So I just realised that I did not blog about the awesome birthday surprise I got last thursday!

Basically it started off with dinner at Vue De Monde. Mummy had been checking and replying emails throughout dinner on her Blackberry.

After dinner, as we drove back to the apartment, my mummy started checking her email again. Then she started to look annoyed and suddenly said to Daddy, "Can we go to Cityside? I just remembered that I left this file of work and I need it to settle this issue with ____" (whoever the corp sec she was talking to, didn't catch the name).

So then we headed down to Cityside. As Daddy parked the car, I asked mummy whether she wanted all of us to come out of the car and she said yes, since I had not seen the flat with the furniture in it yet.

So obviously I didn't suspect anything.

Outside the apartment, my daddy took out the keys to open the door. Mummy started insisting that I open the door instead, so as to "practise unlocking the door since I will be the one staying there" Daddy just brushed it off and just opened the door.

When I walked in, the place was decorated with streamers and "18" metallic cut-outs and balloons. I was quite stunned. So my first thought was that this was a family surprise.

Until I saw the guy lying on the sofa bed.

WEIXIONG?

Mummy and Daddy were both stunned too. I was just speechless, i didn't know what to say. First of all, how did he get in? Secondly, what was he doing here?

Weixiong woke up and got up, a little groggy but nonetheless shocked to see us there.

"Dude, what are you doing here?" I asked

"Harhh... Hi auntie, Hi uncle... Oh no, you're here... they all waited very long already so they went downstairs to get drinks first"

I honestly thought it was a failed surprise.

The next thing I know hear a loud "SURPRISE" and I see people emerging from the corridor leading to the bedrooms.

ZOMG. Successful surprise!

My original UL31, UL5 and a few of my dancers were there!

OMG SO AWESOME TO SEE THEM. Haha I was really surprised. You get the picture.

So apparently, my mummy had faked the "need to get file from cityside" talk in the car.

Also, prior to that, there were a few slip-ups by my family, though lucky for them, I didn't suspect a thing.

1) My mummy called me on my daddy's number, while out furniture shopping, to ask me what time my exam finished. I asked her why she was using dad's number. She brushed off my question and just said, "Aiyah, he had it out so just used it"

Later on, I called my mum's phone after the exam and my sister picked it up. I asked her where mummy was, she said mummy was out furniture shopping. I said, "Oh, so mummy left her phone with you so that you have an aussie number that she can call you with yeh?" Vannie said yes.

Totally did not see the incoherency going on there.

2) In the afternoon, while we were getting ready to go for dinner. There was one point where Chris was lying on the bed, and Vannie jumped on him. Then Chris exclaimed out loud, "OUCH! WHY ARE YOU SO HOT? DID SHARON COOK YOU OR SOMETHING?"

Because apparently when my sister picked up my mummy's phone after my exam, she was actually at Sharon's house helping to bake the cake and the sweet treats for the surprise.

3) Just as we were about to leave, I was chatting with my sister when she suddenly mentioned, "Oh you know, jie jie Sarah's voicemail is very funny"

I stared at her, "How do you know jie jie Sarah's voicemail?"

Her eyes went a bit wide, "Uh erm I, I, uh... yeahh." Then she kept quiet.

At that moment, my mummy's expression was probably similiar to Homer Simpson's "DOH!" She distracted me by changing the conversation topic.

Honestly, I just thought that maybe Vannie had heard it from someone's phone, or that now that she seems to be making friends with all these KorKor's and JieJie's, maybe she had gotten Sarah's number. Whatever, I just brushed it off.

4) During dinner at Vue De Monde, my daddy kept on asking my mummy if she had the CitySide keys with her. Mummy kept giving daddy this look as if to tell him to stop asking her, because she was afriad i would suspect something.

This was before my mummy had said that she needed to go CitySide. Again, did not suspect anything.

Haha. Love birthdays. Thanks again everyone! =) Thank you Lord for the most awesome birthday, and better yet, a really special 18th! =D

Freedom in the name of Jesus.

2009-11-24T10:17:00.002+11:00

Last night was the Planetshakers School Of Creative Arts showcase.

I was in 4 performances - The opening item, 1 hip-hop story piece, 1 jazz piece and 1 adv hip-hop piece.

My goodness was costume change fun. Thankfully the time lapse between each performance was actually longer than what it was during the rehearsals. Haha.

So the 1st half was all right, though I wasn't really into it somehow through the two pieces. I was dancing, but it was like, I wasn't there.

Thanks to Sarah to shaking me up.

Then I got myself back up for the 2nd half and felt like I really rocked it! I kept thinking about God and God only prior to those two performances and yes, while I did make mistakes, I was totally on track with the performances. Hee.

I haven't actually done a real formal showcase production kind of thing before. I have done ministry work, but that's a lot more carefree. I realised I was really nervous at the start but I thank God for the opportunity to go through it. It really opened my eyes to what more He has in store for me.

Of course, He told me that it will only get harder, though more fun and more fulfilling.

I say, bring it on.

Freedom has been really tasting epic sweet! Haha. I've got another week and a half here in Melbourne to just chill and relax before I fly back to Singapore. I cannot wait. Half a year is seriously too long and I just want to go back to my sunny island.

So unlike my last holiday, I don't really have a lot of happening plans this holiday. Apart from moving from College Square to CitySide, going for the first Project: Share The Love BBQ that I know is going to be awesome, a possible karoake session, a movie run with dear Sarah Woo, and some overdue catch-ups, I'm pretty much free. Come find me if you want someone to hang out with! x)

Persevere.

2009-11-18T10:14:00.003+11:00

It's been pretty rough these past few weeks.

With studying for my exams (one more paper to go), preparing for SOCA showcase, having my family around (not that that's a problem, just that I try to spend some time with them and feel bad when i know I can't), and walking around everywhere with an injured leg.

My leg has been injured for the past month. Add another two weeks prior to that if you want to include the period that it felt weird before I really damaged it.

I would be lying if I said that I can still be full of cheer and be carefree, without complaining and crying out to God desperately. I admit I have been. I just did this morning.

Daddy God told me He wants me to persevere. I want to persevere for Him. But I really feel the tide pulling over. My fast has been relatively successful, considering how difficult it is. Yet I can feel the worry of "what if this injury was something more? Like what if it never heals?"; all these negative thoughts coming to my head.

Every time I'm in church or at a planetUNI meeting, I get into the praise easily. I don't care that my leg hurts and i jump and dance for my Daddy God.

DANG IT! ENEMY GET OUT OF MY LEG. GET OUT OF MY LEG. GET OUT OF MY LEG. I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH IT HURTS. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO STOP ME FROM DANCING AND WORSHIPPING MY LORD.

I have a feeling that my healing will finally come after the showcase. This is really a time of mastering my storm.

Daddy God told me this morning to not let my physical body tie me down my spirit. I am free. I am free.

I felt better after hearing that from Him.

Maybe it's just me being impatient; but I asked Him then, "Daddy God, I've been praying, I've been fasting, I've been defying what man says and continuing my dance despite my injury, I've been declaring healing; I've been searching for your touch on my leg; I've been calling on your strength - What More Do I Have To Do?"

Persevere.

To not worry, and to fast the hardest fast

2009-11-09T15:34:00.003+11:00

So God challenged me to fast something last saturday till after the showcase. The most difficult fast I have ever done.

And of course within the next 2 days (including today), I was already struggling. It seemed the very thing I had to fast from was the one thing that keeps coming back to attack me. This morning was really painful; I was on the brink of stress explosion. Then God later showed me that when I cry out to Him (which mind you, I really did, sitting in my bedroom), that He will hear me and will answer me in His own way.

So now I said, "ENEMY, YOUR REQUEST HAS BEEN DENIED. AND ANY FURTHER REQUEST IS GOING TO WON'T EVEN COME NEAR ME FOR ME TO EVEN HEAR OR THINK. And even if they do penetrate my thoughts, I'MMA FIGHT THEM BACK AND STEP ON THEM TILL YOU GO AWAY."

It's going to be a hard two weeks. First paper tomorrow. Happy Birthday to Stacey Goh Ming Hui, bestest twinnie friend in the world!

Can't wait for showcase. The pieces are short and we do not have extremely WOW stuff throughout the pieces, like the kind you see in a competition with either Philippines All-Stars or Korea Gamblerz, but we really have some awesome God-given choreography. =D

BIG CARROT: End of Exams, 19 November 2009

2009-11-04T23:14:00.002+11:00

I'm turning 18 in 2 weeks time.

And I don't have a wishlist.

Unless you can get me a room with a wooden floor and mirrors and bars. I would seriously love you for life.

I guess I have a random list of things I want to get, but they're not really for the 'birthday occasion'.

Ah well, at least I have my family here. That's a major present from God, yes sir.

God has really been giving me strength and productivity these past few days. And He saved me from suddenly thinking bad things and allowing strongholds into my mind. BOOOOOO to the enemy.

Yay for study buddies Tricia and Fel! x))

Grandpa David, Grandma Monica and Grandaunt Gui-Yi arrive in Melbourne tomorrow morn! Can't wait to see them on friday night.

Then mummy, daddy and Vannie will follow suit on sunday morning. These next few weeks are going to be awesome.

When I study in tate, i think such random thoughts.

2009-10-28T17:06:00.001+11:00

If I could, I would choreography and dance a dance for every single person I know.

Because each one is amazing and has a story to tell, whether they realize or not. Or even better, they have a story that has yet to be told.

<3

A tingling sensation in my heart and stomach whenever i think of home

2009-10-25T19:33:00.002+11:00

Today PS Mark Crow spoke at church. He is so awesome! He spoke about mastering the storm over our lives. I got a hug from him! =D Heeeeeeeee.

And when I think back, I realized how blessed I am - I've been through storms, storms are just part of life. But i realized that I am blessed in that I've never had a real big-time stormy trauma or drama before. And I'm glad. I think there's a reason why God chose to make me that way, why God chose to grow me a different way to other people.

He told me today to expect the new. That there is so much unlocked potential inside me and the people around me. It's exciting. I'm really looking to walk with Him, by His side, and let Him show me the keys to unlocking this potential that will lead to the final dream He has for me.

I may not be the most talented; the most skilled; the one with the greatest technique or style; but I have something better. I have the Spirit of the Lord Jesus dwelling in me. He will come through for me.

And I think about how I'm going to be on a flight back to Singapore in less than 2 months time! I cannot wait. I miss home too much already. I don't care if I end up doing nothing during my holiday; I just want to be there. =)

But first, i should really lose some weight =X. BAHHH.

Exams are starting in 2 weeks time! Wish me luck. =D

A wide circle of friends, we share the love

2009-10-11T10:20:00.003+11:00

I really really really enjoyed my holidays. I think when I asked God to give me a really great holiday, He just gave me so much more =)

And the best thing I loved was how I got to hung out with different groups of friends. I don't know, personally, I enjoy the experience of spending time with different people, just because of how different yet awesome each person is.

So just a summarized version of my holiday experience =)

Monday 21 Sept: K-Box with Weiying, Lin, Joanna, Lydia, Yeni, Chen Yi, Roy and WeiXiong.
I have to admit, I actually enjoy Karoake, especially if there are old school 1990's stuff. Brings back the awesome memories. Oh, and one of the most awesome things is watching Weiying and Weixiong tackle Michael Jackon's "Smooth Criminal" x)

Tuesday 22 Sept: Lunch with Hannah. Soda Rock with Sarah Woo, Daren and Sean. Kingdom Purpose night. Carmen's birthday surprise (that we arrived for late).

Wednesday 23 Sept: Marketing Group Meeting (LOL). Dinner with Grace, Carmen, Sharon, Shiyou, Diane and Fel.

Thursday 24 Sept: Mornington Road Trip with James Cheng, Ben Yap, Hannah and HuiHui.

Friday 25 Sept: I can't remember what I did. I only recall going for Hip Hop beg/int at MMA. There were these girls that, literally, right as class started, they ran up to the mirror and started checking their hair and adjusting their clothes and patting their faces before they ran back to place. The expression on the dance teacher's face was hilarious.

Saturday 26 Sept: Pot-luck lunch and games with UrbanLife. 'Watermelon' and 'Mafia' are totally awesome! Haha. Rosemary, Lappong and I totally owned at 'Watermelon' x). BBQ dinner and SingStar! night at Daren's place. Nada + Beyonce's 'Crazy In Love' = EPIC.

Sunday 27 Sept: Church! Yay! =)

Monday 28 Sept: Shiyou's parents invited us out to dinner at Pac House South Yarra, followed by dessert at Soda Rock. I really really love the cookie shake there. Thanks much to Sarah for introducing it to me.

Tuesday 29 Sept: Marketing Group Meeting Pt. 2. We actually managed to finish the whole report by that meeting. My group members are awesome! x). Had Creative Discipleship at church office at night. Funny thing was that they had spit up the discipleship by ministries, and well, planetUNI dance only had 5 of us there, so we joined the choir's discipleship. PS Nat was totally awesome, and she kept referring back to both choir and dancers in her message. and the message just totally applied to us dancers =D

Wednesday 30 Sept: Kaba Modern workshop! Met Jennifer there. Both of us were attending Beg/Int level taught by Mike Song. The choreography was totally awesome. It was a completely tutting routine to this Wii-themed song. For a complete beginner to Tutting, I kept up pretty okay, though as usual, i kept messing up the ending. =X

Here's the choreography, performed by Mike Song at another studio in USA.

Thursday 1 Oct: Sarah called me at 9am, a while after I had woken up, to ask if I was up for breakfast at 9.45am. LOL. I actually rushed. We headed down to Sugar Dough in East Brunswick. I had the 'Malaysian Pumpkin Torte'; was really good. tasted like curry puff! haha.

Friday 2 Oct: Headed to Bridge Road with Jon Tan to get my holiday retail therapy. I found a Sonic The Hedgehog T-shirt! My life is so complete now x). Wahahhaha. Got some pretty good buys; bought about 4 or 5 items for $100 altogther. Then we went down to my new apartment at City Side to check the mail and just bum around till dinner. Went to Grace's place to pick up Grace, Carmen and Patrick to go for dinner at Sushi Ten. Then...
Weixiong's CNY party! Karoake, Mahjong, Balloon volleyball and lohei! =))

Saturday 3 Oct: So I was supposed to go for Rodelle's 21st birthday picnic, but I think the past two week's events had worn me out. I just wasn't feeling too good, let alone up to going for the picnic. Ended up staying home and watching Glee with Jono and Sarah. And of course, later on continuing with Project: Share the Love. ;)

Sunday 4 Oct: Church again! PS Bill Johnson totally blew us away! =D What a humble and amazing and anointed speaker. Bless him.
At night, went for Tricia's Birthday Dinner at Longrain - with Sarah, Billy, Jono Ong, Ai Jet, Joey Poh, Joanne Yong, Tracey, and Roy. It was awesome to hang out with another group of friends. The food was good and we had loads of fun =))

And on the road, we play happy 1990's music

2009-09-25T13:49:00.004+10:00

So Ben Yap and James Cheng decided to spring a surprise on Hannah and HuiHui on thursday.

At approximately 10.30pm the night before, I accepted an invite (with permission from my dear mummy and daddy) to go on a road trip with them to Mornington.

And apparently, I was a surprise present for Hannah and HuiHui. Haha!

Ben Yap told me to wait at a particular junction and act like a random person on the street. He said they were going to make a bet with the girls that they would be able to get someone random on the street to get into the car with them and drive off, or something. Lol.

Hannah actually fell for it for a whole 10 seconds. Haha! Huihui totally expected it though.

I found it interesting that my first road trip was with a totally different group of friends. It was a really awesome experience, getting out of the city, smelling real fresh air, and spending time with friends.

And God was with us all the way! No matter where we went, the sun seemed to follow us. Like it would start to rain, but wherever we were there was always some form of shelter. And very shortly after the rain starts, it would stop, and not come back for quite a while. How awesome is that? =D

We basically had three things on the itinerary: Hedge Maze, Beach boardwalk, and Hot Springs.

The Hedge maze was so much fun. And really, those mazes are pretty difficult to get out of. Half the fun was scaring Hannah. Ben Yap would keep still at a T-junction, and jump out at Hannah. Although after the third time, Hannah was totally on to him already. Haha.

The place was really beautiful. We even found a herb garden where there were hybrids; eg. Chocolate Mint. No joke, it actually smelled like chocolate mint, not just mint.

Sadly, we did not manage to explore the entire garden, but we did cover most of it. Oh, and there was this challenge we did where we had to find as many gnomes and fairies in the gardens as possible. That was pretty fun; we found most of them, and managed to solve the fairy puzzle at the end of the game anyways.

After eating the yummy risotto lunch Hannah and HuiHui had made, we headed off to the lighthouse. The boardwalk was so cool! From the carpark, it was quite a long walk up to the cliff, with viewpoints along the way. At the top of one of the cliffs, there was this boardwalk staircase that went all the way from the top of the cliff down to the shoreline! It was a pretty long walk, but it was such a nice one! We could go up real close to the waves and hear them roar. There was a lot of pebbles down at the shore, and hence when the waves rushed up and down the shore, it made this wonderful 'clackly' kind of sound. It's so hard to describe in words, but it sounded so amazing on the ears.

We then headed to the Hot Springs to relax and chill. Thankfully, nobody complained about me wearing my T-shirt and berms in. I just tied up my shirt so it would be like clingy and gross. The hot springs were so good! We just sat and chatted about random things, and enjoyed the soothing heat. Though some of the pools were pretty hot, and often we had to sit out and juz soak our feet, and splash our bodies once in a while.

I got to chat with Hannah and HuiHui about God-given dreams. I really really really love to hear what God has been doing in the lives of others. It's just so inspiring and it really strengthens my own faith. I want to encourage as many people as I can to really go after their God-dream, no matter how "impossible" it may seem through our human eyes. Because really, and everyone knows this, nothing is impossible from God's view.

After a few hours, we headed for the showers, freshened up, and headed off to find dinner. After dinner, we went to look for Cold Rock. I know that there's an outlet in Singapore, but I never got down to trying it. It's pretty innovative; you select an ice-cream flavour, and then you can ask for "add-ins"; basically, you can add in sweets and treats into your ice cream such as m&m's, fruits, skittles, cookie dough etc.. They will then crush all the sweets and mix it into your ice cream to give you your own original flavour! I had Aussie Vanilla, with strawberries, oreos and peanut m&m's. Couldn't taste the strawberry though, but it was pretty interesting.

Oh, and Hannah treated! Haha. Love you long time, Hannah <3

And HuiHui, you are so awesome! So glad to get to know you better on this trip! =)

And Ben and James, thanks for inviting me and making the trip all the more fun. And of course, you guys amuse me with your friendly competition of iphone bball hoops x)

Oh, and i think i make an awesome road trip DJ. From the past road trip, I have created two new playlists on my IPod - Road Trip: Day and Road Trip: Night. =D

Photos are still with HuiHui and James, but I'll just put up some mobile shots.

Four best friends. It's amazing how far God can take friendships, no? =)

How can you see things like this, and not marvel at how magnificent God is? How fantastic and beautiful His creation is?

Thank You.

2009-09-19T22:17:00.003+10:00

I realize that I do not thank God enough for things that we humans considered "normal"; and the culprit behind the lack of gratitude is what is called "familiarity".

I want to thank God for family.

I want to thank God that I handed in my assignment.

I want to thank God for sunny days and days of rest.

I want to thank God for yummy food and healthy meals.

I want to thank God that I get to see my family in a few months time.

I want to thank God for re-connecting me with certain old friends of mine.

I want to thank God that Sarah, Weiying and I managed to get a seat in Lindt Cafe without having to wait so long.

I want to thank God that I managed to find canned chilli bamboo shoots & pork in the asian grocer here.

Haha. Random thoughts of the day. I have not done any work these past 2 days; though I do plan to start tomorrow.

I attended Cheryl's 21st birthday party last night. Happy Birthday again, Cheryl! Love ya heaps. Cheryl and Cynthia's house is so nice; it was a real western-interior, wide-spaced, pleasant place. Like out of an IKEA magazine. I was in awe when I walked in.

Oh, and I wore my platform shoes out for the first time, and did not fall. Applause please. xD Haha.

Anyways, Cheryl's party was really fun. From the boyband videos and photoshoots to the photo reel to the wonderful and touching speeches - now that I am going to tell you exactly what happened, just some hints - it was just so awesome to get to celebrate the birthday of a dear friend, older sister-in-Christ and dancer.

And of course, it then occurs to me that I am FINALLY turning 18 in 2 months time. ZOMG. 0.0

HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE! Let me see my JESUS in it!

2009-09-08T16:57:00.003+10:00

planetUNI camp 2009 More To Life

Seriously, what an experience. There's so much that happened during the three days, but I shall just put down a written 'snapshot'.

It's amazing how our camp gets shortened, yet God does so much more in every single one of us.

The dance was off the dial. God was totally dancing with us and I could just feel the fun and joy of praising Him with the gift He has given us. =)

The best part was of course the 'family love' of it all. How much more we've bonded over this period. I've been having major withdrawals from not having rehearsals almost every night. Haha.

"Bigger dreams, Val, bigger dreams,"

"Come on, Val, I know there's more in you. Keep the fanning that fire in you, come on,"

"I release you. You're going to do much more and much greater."

"God is saying 'Jump higher. Val, jump higher.'"

"You are doing an awesome awesome job. Never compare yourself and put yourself down because there's still so much more."

"That she will be able to reach out to Melbourne, Singapore, the world."

And He has given me a new vision, which I've shared with a few people. I told my mummy about it last night; and she said that it was an awesome dream, and that I should keep praying about it.

Fell sick right after camp, and still sick today. Nonetheless, God has been let it happen such that I fall sick during my period of "rest" (not holiday, but just a time where I do not have as many things due urgently). And He has given back to me the blessings of giving my time. H1 and H2A assignments yo!!!! =D

I can't wait to recover. Then I can start jamming in the studio again. And have some time with God to choreograph more of His dances.

Going to go out with my cousin Rachel and brother Chris later. Family family family~ Heeee.

Only God will tell with time.

2009-08-19T19:57:00.000+10:00

It's already mid August. Wow.

Just had our first planetUNI dance rehearsal for the second half of the year. It was so nice seeing everybody back together again, though some are not able to commit this time round. All's good. We have fun and get confused and totally laugh at each other during rehearsals. I hope that during these next few weeks; we'll not only grow stronger as a dance ministry and team, but closer together as friends and God's children. Family love ya'll =)

Life's been really good. The university workload is getting a little hectic, yet when I was planning my schedule, it felt like I actually had quite a lot of time and that I can easily clear my first round of assessments. God has been totally filling me with revelations and peace in my heart in a lot of things.

I realise these days, when I look at things, my mind tends to worry and fret, but yet my heart feels all right and at peace and somehow knowing that everything will be ok.

Also, there has been a question that has been floating my mind lately. I think I need to talk to my leaders about it, because it has been bothering me for a while already. Don't worry, it's nothing emo, just something I've been thinking for a while. =)

Oh and I did well for my first macroecons test! 14/15. Yay! God is so good =D

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
- Romans 8:28

Daddy God, let me never forget my focus, my purpose, my dream, and the path I walk.

Zhen Yip and Henry are totally spastic man. Haha. It's so nice to see them and sit with them during lectures.

Oh and pammie sent me a real random sms about an old classmate of ours. Dear pammie, I'm just as surprised as you are. Haven't seen the person in ages; I don't even know what he/she looks like now! Hahaha.

Jabbawockeez is coming soon! I'm going with a couple of the dancers, so it's going to be awesome. They totally defy human motion with their style and choreography. Super cool! As PJ would say, "we are totally rehearsing and growing in our ministry because we're watching super awesome people and learning from their stuff" =X HA!

2009-08-06T13:23:00.002+10:00

I feel so blessed this semester. I'm liking most of my subjects so far. My timetable is really good and I have lots of free time. My lecturers are pretty good. My tutors are pretty good. I have made friends or at least know one person in each lecture or tutorial. The man who makes the coffee at Animal Orchestra every weekday morning still remembers me. I have lectures with two of my dearest friends (Jono and WooHoo. LOL.).

Seriously, everyday I walk around and I feel this sense of simple joy and contentment with life. My university results last semester were pretty good, considering that I have never done any of these subjects before in my life. I just spoke to a friend of mine and found out that she scored really well in all her commerce subjects last semseter. I felt so happy for her!

Beautiful Women happened over the weekend. What a great enriching and spirit-reviving weekend it was! PS Lisa Bevere and PS Sam were off the dial crazy. I really felt God speaking to me on two things - Correcting one aspect of my life and going to the next level in another. Throughout the conference, whether it was praise or worship, I just danced before the Lord like crazy. It was such a thrill!

And the best part of it all was that my mummy and Godma Angie came up for the conference! It was so nice to see them. I really hope they took something away from the coneference. I know I did =)

I need to kickstart my dancing again. Can't wait for class tonight. Then UrbanLife! My UrbanLife is the best! Love them to bits. =)

Where the Soy Chai is yummy and the weather just can't stop fluctuating

2009-07-23T14:17:00.002+10:00

I'm back in Melbourne. Feelings are a little mixed, like I somewhat wish that I could have stayed in Singapore longer, yet I also feel like I've been gone for quite a while and it does feel good to be back.

This past three weeks for me have just been a time of relaxation and refreshment for me. I didn't do much, I spent most of my time out with my family, and I only met up with a few people. Somehow I feel that's what God wanted my holiday to be; He kept on speaking to me in various instances and I felt like I learned a bit more as well as 'revised' many things that He once told me before.

One of the best things that happened was of course the catch ups with all the best and closest friends of mine. I loved all the chats, whether they be Godly or just a casual catch-up conversion that totally revolved around the idea of "Anything goes".

On another note, I saw Vanessa Ong twice. My goodness, God has really done something in her life. Miracle healing. She looked really well, and she looked much happier. I'm glad.

Goodbyes are always the worst. Even now I'm still irked by it, but I guess I have to leave the whole matter in God's hands; where God will take her, I can trust in Him that all will be well. I will miss her. I thank You for placing her in my life.

By the way, go watch Sunshine Cleaning. Emily Blunt is awesome. Alan Arkin is funny. The movie may not be top-notch, but it was pretty darn good; interesting storyline, not cliche, a slight darkness and deep-meaning feel to it, and no loopholes.

Last night, Tricia and I went to Jon Chiong's place to give Ben Yap his birthday "surprise"; well it wasn't really a surprise because he sort of knew we were going to be there. Oh wells, it was really fun and it was felt so good to see so many familiar faces again. =D

I finished the choreography for the chorus of "Transformers", I probably want to add on more such that the dance goes in the order: Chorus, Verse, Chorus.

As for 'Revealation', while there is no solid choreography intact, I do have something that I have tried out and seems to work, but I want to get into the studio and work on it properly in front of mirrors. I can't wait to finish both! =D

Oh, and studio bookings in Melbourne are waaaaaaaaay cheaper than in Singapore ^^''

"U Girl" Choreography by XueHui of O School

2009-07-16T09:55:00.001+10:00

Ok, so I messed this one up quite a bit. Somehow it didn't look that disastrous in the video, but I kept messing up my footwork on the shuffling, so it just threw my timing off for the rest of the dance. Ah well, more practice then ^^

God's answers are unpredictable.

2009-07-13T13:46:00.003+10:00

He answered me on the same night and the next morning =D

So I was still a little troubled by the question as I got ready to go sleep that night. I set my quiet time materials on my bed and started asking Him, "How do I answer that question?"

Then I felt God nudge me to open my quiet time book, like He had something to show me there. So I did. This is what it said -

July 11:
" 'I will never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord... through whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.'
-Galatians 6:14

Without except, every one of the overcomes I know personally who have come back to their feet after terrible defeat have lived in victory only through a radical walk with Jesus Christ in truth. For folks like me, there's not a lot of gray. I learned the hard way what can happen when you wander too close to a hole. You can fall in."

And I was wowed. Because that totally seemed to answer my question, and clear up some thoughts in my head. Like God does not force you away from such holes, sometimes you just walk to close to it. Sometimes you manage to walk past the hole, sometimes you fall in. I guess personally for me, while I am totally for stepping out of my comfort zone, there are some zones I just don't want to be in, and I know that God, my family and my friends wouldn't want me to be in either.

Then came sunday morning, where a lady from the RBC Ministries spoke at service. I loved her message, she illustrated the point of view of Mary, when she went to anoint Jesus' feet with the expensive perfume and how she felt being criticised by the disciples. Her message really struck me -

"As children and followers of Jesus Christ, just as Jesus was misunderstood wherever He went, so will we be in following in the steps of our Lord."

"Remember who you are, and who you are called to be,"

"A life poured out for God will get looked down upon by man, but God sees the heart and He will show blessing and favour for your love and obedience."

Notice none of it the statements above say anything about sticking to a strict set of rules. But they do mention about a certain level of love and intimacy with God that is beyond the understanding of man sometimes. All these statements hit home, and really answered my question of "Where do I stand?" and "Where do I want to stand?"

I reckon some people may read my posts and think that I am becoming too religious or something.

I'm not. You speak to me, and I'm just the same old person and friend.

I just love God.

And that's why I stand where I am.

And honestly, I don't believe that I'm missing out on much. If anything, I'm experiencing more. =)

Just had brunch with Diane and shared with her about my question and how it was cleared up, and she gave me a bit more of her take and what she heard from friends. Thanks for brunch Dee, was fun =D

Oh, and I attempted to carry on with my choreography yesterday, but I think my muscles kind of died after the wonderful 30km run with my mum and the ladies, so after a while all my steps were half a beat behind and felt really heavy. I did manage to add a few more steps, but I need to get the timing right and perfect the individual steps.

And I seriously need a mirror. I video-ed myself, and I could see so many mistakes in the steps and that my sharpness and strength was way off. I need to book studio time; probably in Melbourne. I was thinking of doing my own fortnightly trainings. At least the booking prices in Melbourne for dance studios are waaaaaay cheaper than here -.-''

Oh wells, I might be dropping by Vanessa's place later. I can't wait to see her! =D

Oh and I kinda revived my fan fiction mania again, uh oh =X

2009-07-12T01:52:00.002+10:00

I don't know why, but a catch up with a friend made me consider this question:

Where do I stand?

Which of course makes up the next question, Where do I want to stand?

And well, maybe this comes after a long way of maturity in Christ, but no matter how I look at it, I don't want to stand anywhere else. I like my position. I'm glad if other people go other ways, and even more so if they are happy too. Yet I don't feel like I'm missing out much.

But I guess God throws some of the greatest surprises at you, which may or may not leave you a little confused. Such things just take time to understand. There is a need to step out of one's comfort zone, though where the indication of where your step is to land may take some time to come through.

God has His ways with things, we just need to follow his lead.

And I'm thinking if I could continue to serve in dance ministry even when I'm much older and working and all. I'll pray about it.

"Swing" Choreography by XueHui from OSchool

2009-07-08T10:29:00.005+10:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XpXddA3Zm0

Not bad. Considering that I haven't danced in nearly three weeks. Haha. And I think I need to work up my styling again; I've gotten so used to very Chris Brown-Ne Yo-R&B feels that my hard-hitting power southside hip hop is a little off. But I enjoyed the class =D. See if you can pick me out - I probably performed best in the very first group video, and I did pretty ok in the split group video (third video)

2009-07-06T15:00:00.002+10:00

I hung out with stace, pammie and cui last saturday. Most of it was just talking about random things and catching up. It was really awesome. I hope we get to hang out again next week, then we might be able to have the complete W.I.S.H.E.S in one place at one time. Hahaha. Cui has some photos (pammie you missed the camwhoring!) so hopefully I can get them from her to show you two of my gorgeous best friends look like =D

Last week was my lazy week. This week is going to be pretty on-the-go, with catch-ups, dance classes and spending time with family.

Nothing beats God's peace and forgiveness. I'll tell you that =)

Should I video my dance jams and upload them?

2009-07-01T23:21:00.003+10:00

I feel really accomplished today. Even though it was one of my "at home" days. Haha.

I followed Mummy to the hairdresser this morning to do my scalp treatment as usual. Michelle taught me how to wax my hair properly. Yes, truth be told, I do not know how to wax my hair. I bought this hair mud thing from Hairhouse Warehouse and I've been trying to work the do, but it hasn't been very successful. Now I know. yay! I actually looked pretty cool after the whole, even if I do say so myself.

Then I came home and did more reading - I have officially finished all my Diary of a Teenage Girl books; at least the ones I have so far. I feel a bit sad though, that I do not have any more in the series to read for now. Though the plots involved major events and incidents that we usually do not go through in normal life, it also covers a huge range of issues that teenage girls do indeed go through - both in terms of struggling with faith and with just life and other stuff. I feel God sort of speaking to me in the books sometimes, and even pointing out things I can do.

And the books have made me sort of wish that I could keep a diary like that. In such great detail of the past memories and incidents and thoughts and emotions I experienced. Lately, I've been having thoughts that are like a commentary to my day-to-day activities and thoughts; when I think back on them, they sound so interesting to me and I comment on that in my thoughts again. It kind of goes like a continuous cycle. If I were to read back on those one day, I bet i'll be really amused and tickled. Haha.

I'm thinking now that I'm quite glad to have this blog then. To keep track of my thoughts and what God has done for me in life.

By the way, the first bit of Revealation has occured. x) That's all I'm saying.

I also played the piano for half an hour! I'm really rusty, but my side-reading was pretty good, considering I haven't played for more than a year already. I decided to focus on playing a few old favourites of mine, and to just keep practising those. ^^

In the evening before dinner, I went out to the front of the house and decided to jam a while. Basically I just blasted music and did whatever. I spent some time going through the choreography I've been wanting to learn, and then practising. Though I can admit it's still far from perfect. I always have the moves, but I seem to rush them and forget about the style. Need to work on that.

Aida cooked satay bee hoon for dinner tonight. It was so yum! I don't remember ever eating it before, and it was really good. =D

Yes, it's these random moments in life that we need to learn to appreciate sometimes. They're totally God-given =)

And the list goes on...

2009-07-01T12:48:00.002+10:00

Ok, so I have a tendency to do make these "holiday plans list" that I never seem to accomplish. Well, I actually hope to be able to complete most of these tasks i'm about to put down in this list. A lot are actually quite achievable. I just need to make sure I do not vegetate and actually do them. Hee hee.

1. Finish reading the following books -
Diary of A Teenage Girl Series by Melody Carlson:
~~Just Ask~~
~~Meant to Be~~
~~Falling Up~~
~~That was Then~~
A Not-So-Simple Life
It's a Green Thing
Drawing Near
Honour's Reward by John Bevere (yes I admit I have yet to finish these books but I do intend to)
Wide Awake by Erwin McManus
Slumdog Millionaire by Vikas Swarup
Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates
Beloved by Toni Morrison
The Class by Francois Begaudeau
Easy & Not-So-Easy Pieces by Richard P Feynman
55 Successful Harvard Law School Application Essays analysed by the staff of The Harvard Crimson

2. DANCE. I'm super deprived due to exams and the fact I fell sick a while back:
- Get some studio time somewhere where I can train up and maybe choreograph
- Attend OSchool Hip Hop Int & maybe La Hip Hop Int (if I don't chicken out first), and Moving Arts Lyrical Jazz & Contempt
- Learn the following dances:
永遠
Eat You Up
Look who's talking by BoA
... maybe more if I can find some choreography I don't mind learning off youtube xD
- Practise my jazz techniques, get my freeze right, work on arm strength, stretch A LOT.
- "Revealation". Most important at the moment.

3. Meet up with friends and family - That's a given. x)

4. Practise the piano, revise a few old pieces.

5. Cook and learn some recipes while I'm here.

6. Chinese - Do some reading and maybe practise my listening and speaking. It's totally gone down the drain.

7. Movies - Totally need to take advantage of the waaaaaaay cheaper tickets here, most of the movies listed here at "Coming Soon" in Singapore, but oh well, hopefully they come sooner:
- Marley & Me (dvd)
- Fireproof (dvd)
- The Taking of Pelham 123
- Public Enemies
- Sunshine Cleaning
- G-Force

2009-06-29T17:36:00.002+10:00

It's so good to be back home in the sunny (and HOT) island of Singapore. I just wish that ants would stop crawling everywhere, and sweat would stop forming on my skin. LOL. And that's asking for quite a lot. Oh wells.

I'm hoping to find a studio where I can get some choreography time in. How I would love to find like an old school wooden warehouse kind of studio, but I guess I have to settle for the posh jazz class kind xD I cannot wait to start dancing again. I haven't danced in ages! It's killing me. Plus I really feel God stirring up my heart to get "creating", as Tarini would say.

I went to church yesterday; it was so nice to go back and praise and worship God in my childhood church, and the sermon was really good (though it was a little too heavy on the bible knowledge for me, i think i need to learn to increase my capacity and intake =X). Good to see some of the youth girls as well, and awesome to see my cousin Taz! I missed her loads man. We so need to catch up.

New BoA performance! Seriously, I think she's awesome. xD Can't say i'm lovin the tights or the shiny purple, but this performance was good.

2009-06-24T22:32:00.002+10:00

FREEDOM IS MINE for now xD HAHAHAHA. I'm so glad that exams are finally over. Thank the Lord. Can't say it went fantastic, but oh well, I did my best given what happened over the few weeks so yeahh.

Today I went out with a bunch of my friends to watch a movie. Michael Bay really knows his stuff when it comes to seat-gripping, heart-thrilling action and green-screening effects. The movie was pretty good, though like Jon Tan pointed out, "Not enough character development for the bots" I reckon only Sam and Mikeala went through character developments, the other characters were pretty flat. The parents maybe a little, though they were kind of comedy relief more than anything else.

After lunch, we headed down to a Christian bookstore called Koorong on Franklin Street. I love it. It's so big and has so much stuff to offer. Anyway, I was standing in the store and thinking what great service it does for the Kingdom. People tend to overlook things so simple like a bookstore. A person's life can be touched from a gift that someone bought from the Christian bookstore, or even just from walking into a random store by the call of the Holy Spirit and picking up a book or CD that speaks into their life. Yeah. It's like how Noelle and I talked about how there are so many ways to minister and serve God that we don't realise and appreciate. I was just thankful there and then for that one bookstore that God had planted in the city of Melbourne. =)

Oh oh! Check out Glee, this new series coming out in the fall. It looks so good! I watched the pilot episode, and while the background concept was a little cheesy, it turned out surprisingly well, and of course the music was awesome. Can't wait for it to start showing! =D

2009-06-11T14:12:00.001+10:00

Everytime I think about the fact that I'm flying home in less than a month's time, I get butterflies in my stomach.

I'm so excited. I don't know why. I guess in one way I really miss home, and I can't wait to see my family and friends again.

But I feel like this holiday season might be a pretty interesting one.

I want to choreograph when I get back. Something that God put in my heart at DNA encounter; I'll go back and work on it.

And we'll see what happens from there. I'll give you one word though:

REVEALATION.

2009-06-09T10:57:00.003+10:00

I don't know why but a couple of days ago I started singing some random lyrics, and I have been singing the same lyrics for a couple of days. Thought I'd just share:

I just want to praise You
Lift Your name on high
King of kings who I can't deny
I just want to worship
Glorify Your ways
Son of God, you came and died for me
You came and set me free.

Mummy and Daddy are coming down next week. Can't wait to see them. I feel like I have been away for so long. I don't think I could ever survive a whole year in Melbourne; but it was good that I stayed for the half year.

Exam tomorrow! Wish me luck =D

2009-06-04T21:41:00.002+10:00

It's like a season of transition and change and new things and revelations for many.

This also means it's like a season where the enemy is trying to get us up, down, left, right, centre; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

And here by faith we need to stand by faith and with the authority that God has given us, shout in the face of the enemy, "NO!"

_______________________________________________

Seriously man, I need to get my cardio back up. Into the last half hour of my 1.5 hour Hip Hop Intermediate/Advance class, my body's growing weary and my mind foggy.

I'll probably end up dancing non-stop back in Singapore anyhow. X))

2009-06-02T09:17:00.002+10:00

Yesterday I had a long catch-up with Sarah. We talked about many things, both light-hearted and a bit more serious, good and bad, everything that was exciting us and frustrating us.

And I guess the main idea was where we "draw the line" in things. This kind of relates to my previous post on exclusivity. I talked to Sarah about it and she gave me another whole viewpoint on it. She is right in a way. Maybe I just need the revelation, that is going to help me detach myself from the petty feelings that follow. I don't want to be popular or favoured; I don't want pride; I just want the love of my Father, my family and my friends. And I want to love them the way God wants me to and how I ought to.

We also talked about how the enemy tries to attack us more and more as we grow in the Spirit. How annoying is that? Even this morning, he started to bombard with all these anxious thoughts. I'm just like, "Shut up, enemy,"

When I think back to how I used to be, I somehow used to think I was the cause of a lot of things. Like I overthought situations, and I used to think that someone who sounded annoyed was annoyed because I said or did something wrong. I know now that I am not that way, as long as I don't entertain those thoughts. Once I even entertain them a bit, I submit to them, and I will follow through and cause my own downfall.

There's so much more to learn in this world, and I am thankful to God for each new day I get to live. Because it means I have another day to enjoy walking in His love and growing to prepare for the days where someone will need a touch from God.

2009-05-30T16:53:00.003+10:00

SOCA today was really good. Though for some reason I was totally off with my techniques, especially when we were doing corner work. And a little with choreography even. Bleaghz.
Note to self: Do not attempt to do jazz technique training in converse sneakers. You just can't point your toes no matter what you do!

Tarini mentioned on how she wants us to start being able to put forth our own style in dance. Wow. How cool it is to have your own unique style to dance for God. Like I know what it means to have your own style in dance, but I wonder how different it looks when you watch someone who has their own style in dancing for God. Hm.

I have to say I love love love Kwon Boa's fashion style. It's so me! It's like a masculine feminine style.. if you get what I mean. It's tomboy, yet it's still all girl and has a level of sophistication to it. Of course, once you put on the sneakers or kicks, then you just look downright hip hop x))

Like seriously, I would wear that. =D

Just had a catch up with Doreen. We literally lost track of time and talked for hours. It was awesome. It's so amazing to see how much she has grown; and it's amazing how much we can learn from each other. God is awesome =)) Love ya, Doreen!

2009-05-29T15:25:00.003+10:00

Exclusivity is a sad and scary thing. Yet sometimes it's inevitable.

It was the one thing that led to me to leave youth when I was younger. And I am so thankful to God for getting back and active in the life of the church and in my ministry.

And I realise how much more sensitive I've become to things. I hang out with a group and I always notice that one person who seems to be away or out of it. Sometimes I do something sometimes I do not. Whether that person actually feels out of it or not, i'm just afraid they feel excluded.

I also realise how difficult it is to not be exclusive, and how pettish it may seem to respond to what one may perceive as being excluded.

But I wonder how others think. Those that feel out of it, welcome at times but not always. Again, sometimes it is difficult to fit more people, or because of the privacy of the talk there is a need to limit the circle.

If you know what I mean.

But still.

I want God to show me how to not be exclusive. Because I know that we are supposed to help His lost ones back home. But if they feel out of it, how much more difficult it will be to bring them home.

I want God to use me to talk to the most random people. I feel even now that to some extent, I myself can be a bit exclusive sometimes. I don't want that. I want to be able to communicate and reach a level of friendship with people that I just meet very easily.

Holy Spirit, please show me how.

On a brighter note, today is the last day of the semester! Haha. But I have been cooped up in Frank Tate the whole day doing work. You know me, Nerdy ^^

Through Dance Ministry... =)

2009-05-27T16:31:00.003+10:00

Forgive me for not updating for so long. The past month has been crazy hectic. But so many awesome things happened =)

God pushed me higher in leadership for dance ministry. And when you follow God's call in your life, and pour out your whole heart into it, He will bless you and give you favour. I just got back a couple of my assignments over the past week, all of which were handed in while I was very busy in dance ministry, and they are all a range of H1's and H2a's. Fumbled on one assignment that was supposed to be a H2+, because I forgot to hand in an extra write-up. Haiz. Oh well, you learn.

But I am so thankful to God for all that He has taught me over these past few weeks:

As you grow spiritually, you become more spiritual-sensitive; at the same time, the enemy's voice becomes even more and more deceptive. How do you conquer this? Press deeper into God.

The higher you rise in leadership, the more of a servant you learn to be.

You're never too young to do something great for the glory of God.

When God gives you the authority, walk in it. He will guide you along the way.

The dance for Day6 was off the dial. I still cannot believe we captured the 6 days of creation in an 11 and 1/2 minute dance in THREE WEEKS. God is so good! We saw quite a number of people come to know God, which was awesome =D

I feel God placing in my heart a dream that links with my ministry. So I am going to keep going for that dream; because since God placed it in my heart, I know it will come to pass. I will see it as reality in the future. I cannot wait!

Recently, a lot of people have been talking to me about that topic - boyfriends. Well, truth be told, no one has really caught my eye yet. I even sat down with Jon Tan and asked him to think of somebody for me. He sat there for 10 minutes and couldn't even give me a suggestion - There you go, it's not me. HA.

We'll see how it goes; I'm still young anyway. I'm sure God has a great guy for me. x) Heeeeeeee.

By the way, did I mention how much I love planetUNI dancers? I really thank them for listening to me and respecting me as not only a leader, but a fellow dancer and friend. Love them loads.

Through Dance Ministry... =)

2009-05-27T16:31:00.001+10:00

Through Dance Ministry... =)

2009-05-27T16:29:00.001+10:00

2009-04-25T17:56:00.003+10:00

I'm listening to the music we're going to use for the next planetUNI event.

And I'm feeling really excited! It's going to be BIGGG! God is take this dance way up high and take the dance team to a level we would have never ever thought we could reach.

23rd May people! Keep that day free! God is going to move big time =D

2009-04-17T12:44:00.002+10:00

A life-changing experience.

I've learned how pride can really shatter me when the enemy manipulates it.

I've learned how God's timing is something we may never understand, but we know that by His timing, things will come to pass.

I've learned that I have to contend for the dream that God has given me.

I've learned that my talent is not the centre of the world - God is.

I've learned that even the smallest, shortest, few seconds of worshipping God in the Spirit are the most fulfilling moments of life.

I've learned that there's only one chance, one choice, and one moment that can make me when I keep fighting and chasing God.

I've seen people come together to show their love for the One who showed us the greatest love of all.

I've seen people come together and dance for the glory of God.

I've danced so hard for God that my legs ached but I did not care.

I've screamed and sung so loudly in praise despite my sore throat.

I feel the love and fun in my urbanlife, how we care for and always look out for each other.

I thank the Lord for great leaders who are always there to listen to my problems.

I am a legend. I am a daughter of Christ =)

2009-04-11T22:01:00.002+10:00

I am actually quite interested in checking out this drama once it's released. It's a Korean drama called 'Cinderella Man'. There's a lot of hype and media coverage going about it; but so far from the trailers/teasers/news/press conferences, it looks like it's going to be pretty good.

And why not? I've only ever watched American and Singapore-Chinese dramas in my life. Would be a nice change. Haha.

Despite the fact that my sexy voice was slowly dying on me (yes I have a clogged-up sore throat), Daddy God gave me a good day. A fun day, in fact. =)

Spent most of the day with the planetUNI dancers - We held our first auditions for the year today. It went pretty well- Good job to all who auditioned! You girls did great! We were really pleased.

After auditions, PJ, Eddie, Hannah, SuLin and I went for lunch together and to hang out for a bit. I love dance fellowships; I feel thankful to God to be part of such a great team, and to think how we all click so well when we're together, as if we've been friends for life. It's awesome.

Oh, and uh, I have spread around a bit of a KPOP bug. My bad =X

Gee gee gee gee, baby baby baby...
Lolli-Lolli-Lollipop....
Sorry sorry sorry sorry.... Shawty shawty shawty shawty....

Was supposed to go for a sleepover at Carmen's place, but I'm kinda in need of rest so yeahh. Don't exactly want to spread my germs to the others as well, especially with conference coming. I didn't go for dinner either because i have been eating stuff that are not bad for my throat, but not say they are good for my throat either. So I made eggy-porridge; I can't consume plain porridge, it's the most boring and 'bleaghz' thing to eat when you're sick.

PLANETSHAKERS CONFERENCE 2009 is the day after tomorrow! How awesome and exciting yeah! Come expecting guys.

I know I definitely will =) I can't wait.

2009-04-07T22:21:00.002+10:00

So I am not the only one getting attacked. With barely a week left, the enemy is trying to crawl its way into our minds and our spirits.

But no way, we're not going to let him get anywhere near us. We may have edit this, we may have to cut that, we may have to shorten this - It's all up to God. We are just going to dance for Him in full spirit.

I realise how much of a secular dancer I am. I really need to grow into a more worship style of dance to glorify my Daddy God.

We're going to do this, SOCA. We will not back down, we will dance and we will dance for God.

2009-04-06T08:28:00.002+10:00

I finished my work for this term!

Unfortunately, I will still do some studying during this break, to make sure that I understand everything before going into the second half of the semester. Sorry, that's just me ^.^

And no, Alicia, I do not look forward to assessments... ok I admit that I become a real nerd with them. Weixiong detests my body clock and study discipline xD *sheepish smile*

Wen Hao! Thanks for the sms. We seriously need to catch up! I have so much to share. I won't be back till July though, but maybe we could afford one international call ^.^

2009-04-05T09:49:00.002+10:00

When God gets you to step up to the next level, be ready - That's when the enemy starts to attack more.

But I'm not going to give up or back down, I'm going to aim higher. God has a plan for me in the ministry of dance, has a plan for many others who may see Him when I dance.

Yesterday's rehearsal was really hard. The bar had been raised and we were all struggling. On my way to the planetUNI market, I kept trying to dance the steps in my mind, to the point that I actually forgot a step later on. Then I went home and continued asking God to show me that missing link, and I got it back! =D After listening carefully to the music, I realised how it should be done, now I need to practise. And pray before I do.

To remember to not get caught up in the choreography, but to dance in God's grace and feel God's presence surrounding me.

I prayed last night to God to heal my aching body and not let it be tired out. This morning I woke up feeling really refreshed and ready to start my day. I needed to do some work this morning, and I managed to finish it quite quickly (of course some parts I'm not too certain) so I can take the day off.

Yay!

Oh speaking of planetUNI market, I got some really good bargains there. x)

2009-04-02T20:25:00.002+11:00

I cannot believe I have betrayed myself and have ended up doing my normal school work and assignments.... in Frank Tate.

LOL. Ok forgive me for the over-dramatizing.

It's just that I studied for my exams in Frank Tate, so I didn't want to be doing my normal university work there.... It would just be.... sad.

Truth be told, it is really conducive, and UniWireless is awesome because it's SO FAST. My internet at home is all right, just that at night when everyone is at home and being nocturnal, it gradually becomes (annoyingly) slow.

And in other news, I have only one more assignment due! Yay! xD

And I had a good week. Thank you Daddy God. =) Every week seems to be good.

I finally caught up with Debs today. Man, I didn't realise how much I miss chatting with her about everything and anything. It was really awesome to just get on track with each other's lives again, sharing how we've grown and how life has changed for us so far, new and old experiences, some problems etc. Yeahh, you get the idea. It was a really good catch up =D

I have to say, my creative writing tute is awesome. Not too say my classmates and I are the best of friends, but the discussions are always so interesting and engaging. Some of the poetry my mates have written is fantastic, and is such a good read. I'm glad I took the subject, helps to chill a bit from all the concept-intensive commerce work.

2009-03-30T08:25:00.002+11:00

Dear Kor,

You and I have a lot of catching up to do. I can't wait to see you again.

<3>

Recently, God has been showing me how to love His people. Last Sunday, I asked Him - 'Please break my heart for what breaks yours', in particular reference to one person who I hope to see saved.

And really, He has.

I realise how I feel more compassion, more emotionally sensitive to my surroundings. I feel this longing to really serve God by touching the hearts of others. By being a blessing to them, even if it's something simple like a smile to brighten their day.

God has an interesting way of explaining things to us. x)

He told me this morning to just let go. Let go of it all.

And in the daily bread this morning, it read 'Resolve':

Resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.
—Romans 14:13

And the daily bread read that we should learn to love others no matter what, not judge them.

I nearly broke down and cried. But I feel like I've been cut loose from it. And all I need to do is make sure that I don't walk backwards, but keep going forward.

Conference is barely 2 weeks away! I'm so excited. I can't wait to encounter God in such a great meeting and atmosphere. I can't wait to be able to serve my ministry at a level higher than I have ever done. Wow.

2009-03-22T11:07:00.002+11:00

Wow. University life is really busy. But I finished my two assignments due this coming week so yay! x)

So I cooked dinner for the three musketeers (or Two and A Half Men), Sharon, Sarah, Rosemary and Daniel on Friday night. Dinner was all right, wasn't spectacular. I should've cooked everything just before we ate and got my brother to help me so that everything would be piping hot once it's on the plate. But oh well.

I liked the dessert I made though; Thanks Sharon for helping me with that! It was like a mini-yoghurt trifle, so it's made out of layers of goodies. From top to botton: Honey, Greek yoghurt, biscuit crumbs, Greek yoghurt (vanilla), blueberry sauce and biscuit crumbs.

Yes, dear WISHES and all my dear friends back home, you will get to try it one day x)

Yesterday was such a tiring day. I slept a little late on Friday night because of dinner, and the fact that we were playing card games after that. So I started the day with School Of Creative Arts in the morning; I think my basic jazz techniques are getting better, but of course there's still room for improvement. I don't know why, for some reason, I can't get my standing turns right in class. I always fall off balance or miss my spotting. I like the class in the sense that they tend to focus a lot more on technique than choreography. It helps a lot =)

Hip Hop Advanced was awesome. Though we had to learn some new choreography really quickly, but the set was really nice. I can't wait to let others see it, and well, see the Spirit in us when we dance it =)

2009-03-17T16:42:00.004+11:00

Oh mans I haven't blogged in a long time. Hmmm.

Well I feel really happy lately. Like joyful and cheerful kinda happy.

I did suffer a little stress trauma last week - Thanks to Daddy God, Mummy and Daddy, Weiying and Jon Tan for talking to me and helping me clear my thoughts and stress and all. Yeah, only a number of people know about what happened, but don't worry - I've recovered and I feel great lately. God is faithful. I've cleared up those stresses in the past two days at Uni - And I really feel that much happier on a daily basis. Knowing that God takes care of everything, I just have to obey =)

Saturday was such a busy day! I had to get up early that morning to make my way to Collingwood for SOCA (School of Creative Arts). I really love SOCA. We learnt some new choreography and I could really feel the level of honest worship under the choreography - It felt so.... 'wow' when I danced it. I did ache a bit the next day, but not too bad. And Brodie is the best! He drives me back to the city after each class - If you read my blog, THANK YOU!

After that met up with Jon Tan in Borders at Melbourne Central, to wait for Doreen to arrive from Clayton. I miss Doreen so much; Monash has kidnapped her and taken her away from the city >.< Ah well, I get to see her in church every now and then. Heh heh. We went to eat at pancake parlour and had an awesome catch-up together.

I wonder if you read my blog, Doreen, but I can tell you that God is going to move in an amazing way in your life... You already saw and heard from Him. That's not just it. There's more. You have grown and shaped so much last year, but it doesn't end there - I'm sure you know that too yeah =)

Jon Tan and I then headed to Regency Towers for Tiff, Joy and Andrew's housewarming! So exiciting. Their place is awesome! It's a little small, but it has really good facilities and furnishings and really good bathroom and bedroom sizes x) It was nice catching up with them and the other palmys who had stopped by to hang out.

Rushed over to Hannah's place after that - I was nearly dying by then. What a long day! Oh oh, Hannah and HuiHui's place is just as awesome! A lot more simpler but very homely and neat. I only stayed for half an hour though, because most of the planetshakers peeps were all heading back, and I was really too tired by then. Haiz.

Had lunch with my dear-annoying-older-brother-who-I-so-do-not-need-but-I-know-he-needs-my-awesomeness-in-his-life, Henry Yap. LOL. It was really fun catching up with him and chatting about everything and anything. Hey dude, just know that I'm praying for you; for happiness, success, and maybe finding the answer to questions you may have. ^.^

2009-03-08T08:51:00.002+11:00

Now this is a really really good show.

But you have to have a history of comic book superheroes to enjoy it fully. To quote Sarah, 'Wasted three hours of my life!!!!' xD

As crude and overbearing some of the visuals were, the cinematography was pretty well done. I like the characters, and the actors really put all in the roles. Of course, I can't say too much about that because I only briefly flipped through the actual comic book once. They kept to most of the story, only altering the end, but I'm guessing it was for time's sake.

And my goodness, the make-up and costume design is FANTASTIC. I just went to google movie premiere photos and did not recognise ANY of the cast members (as in which ones played which characters) apart from Jeffery Dean Morgan. Whoaaa...

UrbanLife this week was off the dial. Sarah and I went for coffee together last monday afternoon after I was done with class. So we had a short catch-up, just talking about random things. Then I asked her, "What do you expect for this year?"

Amazingly enough, that is what Weiying talked about during UrbanLife - 'Expectations'. And Lin spoke over my life which sent me straight into tears.

'Rise up, woman of God'.

Dear Lord, I really want to dance for you. Not for myself and my enjoyment but for you.

And without a doubt, we were all high after that. The trip back to College Square was probably one of the most hilarious ones I have ever had so far, with me, carmen, sarah, rosemary, joseph and later Daniel in the group =)

Last night, the big group of us went to watch the Moomba fireworks along the Yarra River. The fireworks display was really beautiful, so much better than back home. I think what made it better was being there with friends and all. I love it when we get together as a big UrbanLife; somehow the hype is just 10 times more. x)

Oh and I tried my new eyeliner from Mac. Difference being that instead of a pencil, it's like a felt-tip pen, and it works really well. Easier to draw the line now x)

2009-03-04T08:19:00.003+11:00

God is really awesome. Here's something interesting about my quiet time for last night and this morning.

So last night, my quiet time talked about how God will pull us out of dark and troubling situations when we put our trust in Him and rely on Him to help us.

'...Let him who walks in the dark, and walks not in the light, trust in the name of the Lord, and rely on his God'
-Isaiah 50:10

So then I'm sitting here thinking how does this apply to my life. Am I in a situation where I'm walking in the dark. And I could not think of one currently. Like I knew that with what's been happening at home, God has really been pushing my heart to lean on His - And God is so faithful. He really delivered us. =)

However, that was not a 'darkness' that I was experiencing at the moment, so I kept thinking. I sat in silence, waiting. Then I asked God, "Lord, please dear Lord, I want a breakthrough in my life,"

This morning I woke up, and except for the neck ache, I felt really good. Refreshed. So then I opened my morning devotional and this is what it read:

Answers will come:
'Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring.'
-Psalm 27:14

The devotional read that we should not back down just when we start to feel a bit dry in Spirit or, even worse, dropped down into the darkness. How the answers will come to us eventually, but we must cling to God and obey Him in everything. With obedience comes revelation. =D

This was God telling me that it was not the time yet for Him to reveal something more of His plan for me. So I will wait patiently for Him.

________________________________

Last night I took the three boys, Chris, Sam and David to catch The International. It was about an agent in his attempt to bring down the world's biggest international bank, which he suspects of funding terrorism in the East.

So the movie started very well. It was basically taking the most intense part of this whole chase-down and putting it on the big screen. The start was good in the sense that it made you want to know what exactly happened and what was going to happen.

Sadly the movie didn't end well. It was cut off too abruptly and there was not much development in the climax. And well, there wasn't a resolution at all; which actually makes sense and is realistic, if you think about it. You don't just kill a couple of men, and expect a bank that has huge resources of manpower to fall.

Clive Owen was all right, though I thought he looked too intense throughout the whole film. The character had serious anger management issues. There was one scene where he was walking on the street, with the wind blowing at his blazer and overcoat - that actually made him look dashing for a bit. Hahahahahhahahah xD

I actually thought Naomi Watts was slightly better in the acting, but I can't say she was great either. Ah well, at least we got to watch it once, and watch the trailers x)

2009-03-01T09:58:00.002+11:00

As promised to my dear friends back home in Singapore whom I miss dearly, here's a sneak peek at my new apartment:

The bed looks big because it's actually two singles put together. I managed to get a bigger room when I arrived in Melbourne. I like the colour scheme of my quilt... For some strange reason, it matches my wardrobe xD

Looks really lived in already yeah? I like collecting postcards, and since I don't really go around mailing them, I decorated my wall.

The 'door' between my bedroom and living area.

The dining area and the kitchen area are more or less the same. At least I get TV. Now to find a decent DVD player =X

My bed and side table. This looks different from the first picture because I used flash here. You can also see more of the stuff I put on the walls. I need more posters ^.^''

2009-02-25T17:28:00.002+11:00

Creative Discipleship last night was awesome. I really really want to get started on what God put in my heart a while back to do. I think too much when I dance. Last night, He told me to just pray, ask Him for the moves, and then 'just dance'.

I just got off a phone call. Something I wasn't supposed to hear yet. But I don't care what the circumstances are - Lord Jesus, I believe and know that you will do something amazing. I believe in you and the miracle. I pray, Lord, that your love be showered over us. That we will not just ask for the miracle, but believe in it and believe that it is already there waiting for us to take. Lord, we need you. We really need you....

Orientation has been pretty boring lately. I can't wait for classes to start. My timetable seems pretty all right; I'll have time to chill, do chores, do marketing and do my own studying. Yay. =)

My dear UL plus our honourary members have been quite obsessed with card games lately, in particuarly, Bridge. Shiyou's fault. Haha. Over the past few days and nights, we've been indulging in bridge, jinrami, and boggle. I'll go with Boggle, it's really fun x)

Oh mans, I don't really know what to blog about. Like I said, Orientation hasn't been much. I haven't taken those pictures of my apartment yet. My bad. =X

Lord Jesus, be with us.

2009-02-20T23:54:00.003+11:00

It's exciting yet intimidating.

I have applied for a particular subject combination for UNIVERSITY.

I have moved into my own student APARTMENT.

I cooked a four-course DINNER MEAL.

I have bought many CLEANING PRODUCTS.

I went to the WET MARKET and bought seafood, meat and veggies.

.... yes I'm a blessed and sheltered kid. Heeeee. No wisecracks.

Oh, and I seriously think that one of the guys at one of the seafood stalls was trying to hit on me for a moment.

Freaky.....

My mummy and daddy are returning home to Singapore tomorrow. I won't see them till July. Boooo =(

And all my best friends back home. I miss you girls!

But isn't it exciting? Knowing that with every passing year, comes a new adventure and new experiences. I'm one step ahead of most; but you won't believe the feeling when you move on to the next stage or phase of life.

It's a real thrill.

God, thank you for the opportunity and the good times. Something great will happen.

Or at actually, with God, many great things will happen =)

2009-02-17T09:16:00.002+11:00

It's amazing how God works. Really.

Yesterday, there was huge tension and fighting, misunderstandings and anger. And at the end of the night, I was too scared to even pick up my quiet time. With all that anger and emotion inside me, I was a bit ashamed to refer to the Gospel.

Then God told me to open up the book, and I finally managed to will myself to.

"But if you will not listen,
my soul will weep in secret because of your pride..."
-Jeremiah 13:17

Omg.

God has interesting ways of telling things. That is exactly what was my quiet time for last night, after all that happened during the day.

And I knew that part of the reason why I was fighting was my pride - I didn't want to back down and be the weaker one. I was so certain of my own reasons that I would win this one and that I would not cave.

Pride. What horrible things it can do to a person when used the wrong way.

And I cried. God was urging me to forgive and make up. I know it's wrong to fit what God says into our perimeters, but I needed one night to just cry and sleep it off. Thank you Father for letting me.

So this morning, when I woke up, I said two very important statements:

"I'm sorry"

and

"I love you,"

And everything was bliss again. I thank the Lord for pointing it out and giving me the courage to make the first step to making things right again.

This is what my morning devotionals said:

"If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land,"
- Isaiah 1:19

No kidding. haHAHA.

The title of this quiet time was 'Receive God's gifts'. This was definitely a great gift to start the day. =D

__________________________________

And well, in other news, Sharon cooked dinner for us last night! Yummy steak and bread pudding for dessert. Heeeeee.

Oh oh oh and I manage to get a bigger room in college square. =)

2009-02-15T23:20:00.002+11:00

Today Pastor Russell talked about what it means to be a servant/steward/minister as compared to being an owner.

One point mentioned was how the talents we have are not ours, but are God's. God gave us talents that we may use them to fulfil his purpose

And God reminded me of one very important word.

Revealation.

Got some work to do. Lord, lead me =)

2009-02-15T07:56:00.002+11:00

Somehow, this prep-school holiday has been going really well and has been very enjoyable and fun. Thank you Lord Jesus. =)

A part of me is excited and can't wait for University to start, while part of me still wants the holidays to go a little longer. Probably because of the fact that my parents are here; I'm going to miss them <3

The past few days have basically about helping my younger brother get ready for life in Melbourne, as well as spending time with my mummy and daddy.

On Friday morning, before my parents could get stuck doing anything, I took them to Melbourne Central to catch the earliest screening of Slumdog Millionaire. It totally deserved those awards; the storyline and the visuals were fantastic. I didn't really see any loopholes. The movie was so gripping and touching and you always wanted to what would happen next; how did he answer the next question. The reality that the director channelled through the movie was really well done as well, no movie-MTV-fake in it. Mummy and Daddy enjoyed themselves too. =D

And I finally got to dance again! I know it's only been a week, but I was starting to feel withdrawal symptoms. Lol. Ok maybe not so serious, but you know when the body is so used to doing a particular activity, you must do it at least once a week? So yeah. Timomatic's in Sydney at the moment; He made it into SYTYCD Australia. Heeeee. Go Tim!

Anyway, the class was still the same, just a different teacher - Trevor. Hmmm, his style is very similiar to Tim's, which I like. The choreo was so much fun and was pretty easy to do =D. No videos though, sadly. >.<

Yesterday, after meeting Uncle Randel for lunch, we spent the entire afternoon in DFO shopping. Literally, we must have had 10 or 11 shopping bags by the time we left the place at closing time. Heh, and to think I brought quite a lot of clothes over to Melbourne thinking I wasn't going to have enough =X

Oh, and to everyone out there who reads my blog: Please support the victims of the forest fires, as well as families who have lost loved ones in the disaster.

God be with them always. The other day in my morning devotional, He taught me to 'do something for sombody'. The same day itself, I happened to walk into my favourite cafe and found a donation bowl there. The chef of the cafe had just lost two cousins to the fires. God's plan; I believe He was also testing me to see if I believe and will follow His lead. I did. Again, God bless the families who have lost loved ones.

2009-02-10T22:38:00.002+11:00

It's really hard to spot me here. I'm in the first group, towards the left, wearing a white/black cap, black shirt and army berms. Heeee.

Now the sad thing is that while I love this routine and think it's pretty awesome, I messed it up pretty bad. You can probably spot me here. I only had one good shot, and my arms weren't strong =X Boooo. Need to train up!

Well here I sit in the dining room of my house for the last time for the next couple of months. I'm flying off to Melbourne tonight! Haha. And my younger brother's coming downunder with me to attend Trinity College! Yay! Siblings rule! I'll miss my older brother and younger brother.

I realise that God has been really faithful to me this holidays. I asked Him to never stop teaching me and revealing things to me while I was back in Singapore. I did not want to take it all for granted. And these past two months, there have been very small yet significant things He has taught me and pointed out to me through experiences and my devotionals. It's been interesting, learning and walking with God back in Singapore. I talk to Him more often than I used to back here. =)

I thank God for a number of things that happened this holiday:
1) For dearest Vanessa who has recovered so much. A miracle really. God's been working in her life.

2) My ex-palmy housemates for inviting me to so many outings though sadly I could barely make any of them.

3) The time spent with my family - where God has taught me how important family is.

4) My best friends who hung out with me and spend time with me. We had fun with that video! xD - God has blessed me with a great group of friends, and I love them and treasure them so much.

5) Dance - where God showed me that I'm not incapable of going for more. Where He danced with me and stretched me beyond my boundaries. He fuelled me with the passion that gave me the strength to push myself further.

6) Moments - where I felt blessed to simply sit in a room full of people and enjoy the love, fellowship, and camaderie. God is good.

7) Choreography - where God showed me the amazing anointing and favour over a youth, that I had unfortunately walked away from years ago. But before I came back, he took away all my hard feelings.

8) The few friends I met one-to-one like Vanessa Quek and Sharon. They who share and listen to me. They do not realise how much they enrich my life =D

9) The sad and angry moments - where God taught me to lean on Him, using my mummy as His voice to tell me what I need to hear.

10) For new friendships and acquaintances made. God gave me the courage to converse and get to know people better. Thanks Keshia and Shona for those few fun times we had =)

11) For reminding me of a mission I have, to fulfil one of His purposes for my life through a series of events. x)

12) For a great teacher, Winni Ng, who has been so awesome and caring =D

13) For very awesome and helpful dance teachers, Xue Hui, Dapheny and Susan, thanks for the great and fun classes this past month. I'll be back for more in july! xD

14) For this holiday, a season where I got to rest and just enjoy the life He has given me =D

Well I can't think of more. But that's already quite a lot. HAHAHAHA. How much more God can and will do in Melbourne. This will be interesting.

2009-02-01T18:28:00.003+11:00

Oops. Haven't updated for a while. No monday dance class photos since it was CNY though. Heeeee. I'm so glad I get to spend CNY here, get to see family and friends, eat good food, and just chill for the season.

Quite a few times I really felt so blessed and grateful to God. I think many of us tend to take opportunities as simple as gatherings for granted. Some people never or rarely get the chance to experience such love and camaraderie among close family and friends. I guess since I'm older now and a lot more mature, my people skills are a lot better - made the gatherings more fun. I got to chat with all my mummy and daddy's friends. Hilarious conversations. Hahahahhahaha. But anyway, the point being that in those gatherings, it felt so good to be part of such a close gathering. Times like these should be treasured. You don't need to have a once-in-a-life-time if-I-don't-do-this-now-i'll-never-do-it incident for it to be an awesome memory. Even ones that you get to do every year, they form really special memories =D

That's how faithful God is. And that's a way of how He shows His great love for us, but channeling it through other people and even through us towards others. And if the love you feel from another person is already so amazing, can you imagine how much great God's real love is?

And of course I'm grateful to God for wonderful Godparents who love me so much. I miss them loads in Melbourne =)

Went to Sentosa last friday with some of the UL peeps. Man I seriously haven't been to the beach for a long time. It was pretty fun; soaking up the sun and swimming in the salty sea. And I got a slight tan! Not too dark, but enough to mark out a swimsuit tan line on my body. Heeeee.

So most of the early afternoon was spent in the water. We swam and chatted and played catching and fighting and all that. It was fun. Somehow I ended up being the only one wearing full swimsuit; all the other girls wore shorts and/or shirts to cover up -_-''. LOL. Thank goodness for one-piece suits though; otherwise I would've just jumped in with my shorts and my clean shirt on >.< Hahahahahahhaha.

Ooh I went for my first make-up lesson today, had it at M.A.C in Raffles City. Azwin was my teacher and she's really nice, it's quite easy to talk to her like buddies. Check it out:

So the eyeliner on the top lid was supposed to be thinner. Azwin helped me to my right eye to demonstrate. However, when I tried my left eye, I drew the line too high. And of course it was followed by a "Uh-oh" from Azwin. Ah well, she helped me touch up by simply making it thicker for both eyes. Heh heh my bad. It came out looking nice! =D

I doubt you'll see me wearing this much eye make-up in Melbourne on a normal day though, at the most I'll do the thin eye-liner... well ok I might have to do it thick if I screw up the line again x) Hahahaha.

2009-01-24T11:11:00.003+11:00

Wow. This didn't turn out as bad as I thought it went. Managed to nail the choreography. Though I didn't really hit the accents hard enough at the last bit. Spot me? Hahaha. Make things easier, you can only see me in the selected group; in the 'group 2' clip, I'm blocked by one of the guys. In the 'everybody' clip, I'm cut out of view. Man, I really should stand on the other side of class next time =S

I'm seriously loving lyrical jazz. Wish I had videos to show but my teacher doesn't take videos. Oh well. =X

So yesterday went back to Henry Park Primary School. Zomg, some of you must thinking, "Say what?? PRIMARY school?" Hey, I have awesome memories there; and I wanted to see the huge building and some of my favourite teachers before I return to the land down under.

Met up with weihong there - Man, I haven't seen the guy in a long time. Still as tall and skinny but seriously tanned from all his canoeing. I feel like a ghost standing next to him. Good to see him again though, it was fun catching up. =D

Found Mr. Lim and literally, the two of us trailed him everywhere, talking to him along the way. We followed him back to his P6 classroom. I stared at the kids... some of them are so tiny! I seriously can't remember what it was like to be that small >.< (no wisecracks about my current height, thanks xD)

I almost kicked some of the kids because they started calling me "auntie" -_-. STOOOOOOOPS! They called weihong, "kor kor"! LOL. Haiz. Well there was this one kid that I sorta kicked a bit, like I put my foot at his butt because he was sitting down. He's one of those wild ones who is made to sit in front of the class because he can't keep quiet. Mr Lim's classes somehow always have one of those. Haha!

Chatted with Mrs Mona Leong, Mrs Julia Wan, Ms Eunice Chua and Mrs Esther Ang. So nice to see them all! Hahaha. I miss them man.

Cui came a bit late, just before Mr Lim was about to take off. Pammie and Nikki joined us after, so the five of us headed to Holland V to find lunch and chatted more.

It was fun today. Thanks for the few who went back to HPPS =)

Had contemporary dance at night but due to an unexpected injury earlier, I wasn't able to go all out. But I'm starting to feel the style a bit more, and Susan has been awesome in teaching us some fundamental principles such as using the space or as it is called, "attacking the space". Haha. I guess I can take what I learn from class and just keep practising it in Melbourne.

By the way, new America's Best Dance Crew group Quest is SICK!